Will you take your husband’s last name?

“What’s in a name?”

Whether or not to take her husband’s last name is a highly polarizing topic among women and has been central to discussions in the Glow community this week.

Some women are quick to Instagram an adorable photo of their engagement with the caption “I’m going to be his Mrs.!” because it seems like such a no-brainer to take his name.

But the decision is not intuitive for everyone. One Glow user put it well:

“When we got married we didn’t magically transform into new people. Why should his or my name, much less anything else, change?”

Though the topic of name-changing upon marriage can get emotionally-charged, the numbers show that up to 90% of married women in the U.S. ultimately decide to take their husband’s names as their own.

The convention of name-changing upon marriage has its roots in the days when only men held legal rights under U.S. Common Law, a practice called coverture. In these days, women had few rights to their names. Surprisingly, some elements of coverture remained active until the 1960s and 70s! It was only in 1972 that a succession of legal cases confirmed that women could use their maiden names in whatever ways they pleased.

In the forty years since, more and more women have come to see the appeal of keeping their own names. In a recent survey of over 2000 women on Glow, more than 18% suggested that they would not (or have not) take/n their husband’s last names.

This trend could be a result of the fact that more and more women are prioritizing careers, marrying later in life, and in general becoming more independent. As another Glow user said:

“I did not take my husband’s last name as I am an engineer and my signature carries professional weight.”

According to a New York Times article on the subject, a climbing divorce rate has also been a factor in convincing many women to keep their maiden names. If they can avoid it, some women would rather not need to change their identities throughout their lives.

Even so, it’s not that easy. There are still many social pressures for women to take their husband’s name in marriage, including from men themselves. Meanwhile, it’s quite rare for a man to take his wife’s name. 96% of Men’s Health readers said they would never take their spouse’s maiden name, while 63% would be upset if their wife didn’t choose to take theirs. And a fair number of women are happy to comply with this expectation. As one Glow user wrote:

“I love being called by my husband’s last name. I belong to him and that makes me feel amazing.”

So what’s in a name? A debate, for sure. Also, a chance to ponder the permutation of love, tradition, romance, individuality, career, and commitment. But most importantly, an identity choice that every woman deserves to make for herself when she says “I do.”