What is vaginismus?

You’re finally in bed. The moment is perfect. You are both so obviously ready. You want it, you crave him...but your body has other ideas: Your vagina is a steel door, shut tight. Any pressure leads to pain. No matter what you try, everything hurts.

It’s common to hear men say they couldn’t get it “up.” But how often do you hear a woman bemoan that she couldn’t get it “in”? Women who have had sex so painful that they needed to stop could be experiencing a condition called vaginismus.

Vaginismus is an involuntary contraction, a tightening of the pelvic floor muscles that generally occurs when an attempt is made to insert an object (penis, tampon, finger, etc.) into the vagina. Some have vaginismus from birth; others develop it after a period of normal sexual intercourse. For those who have it, sex can be extraordinarily painful.

Pain during sex is more common than an erotic novel lets on. We asked our community via a Glow poll, and 43% of respondents reported that penetration during sex hurts at least some of the time; 3.5% of respondents said that sex hurts every single time.  

Because pain during sex is so common, it’s pretty much impossible to tell who suffers from vaginismus specifically. Many women are shy to bring up painful sex with their partner or with medical professionals. Sex is supposed to be fun, exciting, a way to express love and connection—and admitting that it is not delivering in these ways can be difficult in today’s world.

As such, many cases of vaginismus likely go unreported. Research suggests that anywhere between 2 to 70 out of every 1000 women could be affected by vaginismus, which is quite a wide range.

Thankfully, there is some good news. Vaginismus is actually quite treatable! No magic pill, unfortunately—it takes time and effort—but a regimen of floor exercises, insertion or dilation training, and pain elimination techniques can help alleviate sexual pain overtime. Much of this work can even be done at home.

Sex doesn’t need to be painful forever. If pain during sex is frequent enough that you think you may have vaginismus, start speaking up about it. Chances are, it’s possible to transform your sex life into a happily ever after—an erotic novel with the ending you deserve :)