Hi..... i used to cut. Sometimes I still do it but not much. No sexual assault, but other assorted issues including family ones.

I’d suggest therapy but for real, my open to therapists (that I’ve been made to see) is ‘hi, my name is— and I like to lie and manipulate. Sorry dcfs was called/my parents are fucked up, I’ll try not to lie so much since I know you have a job but honestly I’m not here to let you know my business.’

What I do have to say is that, parents can be assholes and I’m sorry you’re alone. You shouldn’t have to be. Do you have a friend you can call? An animal? Cartoons you like to watch? A book? Something emotional maybe that brings you comfort? Sometimes I paint my nails instead of cutting, it’s a habit I picked up trying to stop. Didn’t always keep me from it, but it has many times. Do you write? Color? Draw? Sometimes I pair my cutting with those things. I figure if I’m gonna do it I might as well get the most out of it and fucking chill and feel the high/rush.

You shouldn’t have to apologize to anyone, including yourself for telling him. He’s just an asshole who doesn’t understand and is too controlling. Your mom is much the same in my view. What happened isn’t your fault, and coping is ultimately just coping. Sometimes I sit in a corner with the lights out and night, widow maybe open, and just hang out with my rickety ass shoved down sad and sometimes scary emotions and think about anger and pain and cutting and abuse and cry. Sometimes I bring a stuffed animal into the floor with me. No electronics. Sometimes I meditate, pretty music and fall asleep feeling like I’m drowning.

Really, if you’ve done it it’s okay even if it’s not supposed to be and if you haven’t you should feel for your strength and resilience. Don’t beat yourself up, enough people take care of that for you. 🤗🤗🤗

Self harm and ED