Treats grandchildren differently

Ladies did your MIL treat your kids differently from her other grand babies and what did you do about it ? Or did it not bother you?

No Boundaries MIL

Feedback would be appreciated…So my MIL is hard work, she can’ (read doesn’t want to) do anything for herself until everyone refuses to do stuff for her anymore then suddenly she can do it for herself… She ALWAYS complains about how useless and lazy the people are that work for her in the house and garden. She’s never worked a day in her life and naps 2/3 times a day… She has NO respect for personal boundaries…. When my husband still lived in her house she’d be looking for stuff in his cupboards or taking his stuff that in the house and lock it in her cupboard for ‘safe keeping’ without asking/telling him (she even wore a pair of sunglasses a while ago that I purchased for him as a gift a couple of years ago).She always overshares personal stuff with me (like a nail fungus she had that she thought she got from a pool and then asked what I think it would do to your vagina? WTF??) That she constantly has bladder ingestions, literally told me that she sh@t herself while on a trip… WHO DOES THAT?? And I must just mention that she doesn’t have these conversations with my SIL (married to brothers).She live RIGHT next to us and would always just rock up at our house before 7 in the morning ‘for coffee’ and when I then rush to get dressed she has the audacity to tell me I don’t have to put on a bra when she’s there, she doesn’t mind… I FUCKING MIND YOU SICK WOMAN!! She made the rudest comments when I was breastfeeding about my babies ‘only wanting that tit’ Again, WTF???She even went as far as to come to my house before 7 looking for my husband and when I told her he was still sleeping she walked RIGHT past me TO MY BEDROOM WITH A CLOSED DOOR AND WALKED IN?? After that I wold my husband his mother has ZERO respect for me in my house and that he either has to talk to her or I’m going to loose my shit with her and from now on she ASKS if it is a convenient time for her to come to the house… I get so anxious whenever there is movement outside my house because I always think it’s her…I have VERY bad feelings towards her and I have no idea to handle it because I think there are times that she’s not wrong but I can’t stand her so whenever she’s around I’m in a bad mood and terribly cold and I don’t want to feel like that but I don’t know how to handle the situation??

Husband forces me for his mom to visit

Hi ladies,I had a traumatic delivery. My mom has been taking care of me but she does not live in the same city. I told my husband that I don’t want his mom to help me and prefer to do it on my own once I feel better. He said that I am going to need the help and if my mom was able to help that his mom has the same right. My husband and I have been having marriage issues since last year and he has been very inposing towards me. Forcing me to only breastfeed, I was terrified to prepare formula and would have to do it hidden. He began treating me in a way that I began to fear for my life and my daughters. I decided to stay at my moms house with my newborn and be at peace and feel safe. He followed me and I asked him to stay elsewhwre since his behavior scares me. He told me that his mom was coming the next day. I sent her a text requesting for her to respect my decision to be with my baby. She did not cared and came. Now my husband is pushing me saying that if his mom cant visit her, he wont visit her. What do you think?

MIL wants to be my uber

Hi ladies, my husband and I only have one car. My mother in law wants to pick me up and my baby every sunday to go to church. I can ride with my husband but he has to be at the church at 7:30am. My husband does not see anything bad but I dont like it because I have sensed that she is controlling and manipulative and even wants to takw care of my daughter but I work from home and will be raising her. She also mentions to everyone that she ia going to be a real grandma now but she already has 6 grandkids. She says that because my duaghter will be the only grandchild living close to her. I want my independence. I told my husband I need a car and he says that I dont. I feel so bad. What are your thoughts?

Am I wrong ?

My baby is a month old now, and my mother in law came down to watch our other 3 girls while I gave birth. Well she has been here for almost 2 months now and I do appreciate her help, but I told my partner she cannot feed our newborn anymore because she always tries to force her to finish her bottle when she is clearly full! And it pisses me off. I can't really communicate with his mom because she doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish. We both told her several times to not make the baby finish her bottle and she gets so offended and starts saying I woke at a daycare I know what I’m doing. Literally my daughter is making noises and pushing the nipple away because she is full and his mom puts the nipple right back in her mouth when she doesn’t want it. Today was the last straw I took the bottle away and told her no more and told my partner she isn’t feeding her ever again and he does agree. Maybe I’m wrong idk.

Mil compared my daughters

When our second daughter was born my boyfriend sent his mother pictures and her reply was that she’s prettier than our oldest daughter. How would you feel would you still want her around your kids? My oldest daughter is 3 and that comment broke my heart I think my daughters are beautiful and I know she wouldn’t say that about her other grandchildren. My boyfriend says she “didn’t mean it like that” and to let it go but I disagree.

My mil after my FIL passed away

It’s been 6 months since my father in law passed away I was always attached with him so can understand totally.. but it’s been 6months she is sleeping in our room. I don’t know if I am wrong or right in this but this is quite weird to me.. first few months I was fine with it but now my husband says give her a years time.. I mean what the f me and my husband sleep on the mattress on the floor and she sleeps on the bed claiming she is afraid..anytime we go out somewhere she will cry in front of us making my husband feel guilty.. she is completely fine when we take her out to shop or holiday.. she wants to holiday almost every month. We have been trying for a baby since a year now but because of her we are not getting private time .. whenever my husband wants to get out of his emotional state of losing his father ..she pulls him back. I can understand her loss is big but how is that her emotions are different in front of her daughter and different in front of us .. I have started feeling sad and depressed because this is such a sensitive topic .. I don’t know what to do.. right now I hate myself and everyone around me.

Let me fckn rant!

Honestly so annoyed at my MIL. She has 4 kids and is well in her 40's and keeps "accidently" getting pregnant and having mid term losses. Knowing full well she cannot carry due to having her tubes tied previously and something clearly going wrong. I have just found out we are expecting baby #2 and i have a feeling shes pregnant again. They know im pregnant as we were going to have an abortion (decided otherwise) and she was asked to watch our son. They are in no way happy for us and everytime ive seen them they have been in foul moods and i literally cannot anymore. She also tries to parent my child as if he doesnt already have parents and got mad at him for touching something he shouldnt have when SHE left him unnattended. I was ranting to a friend and she was all for taking my mils side as if she hasnt done anything wrong.

Advice needed!

So me and my partner 20+21 are wanting to have a second child within the next year. Our first is 18m. But our dilemma is my mil just lost her baby (mid term). We get along fine and I love my mil and our of respect what is a good gap to leave before getting pregnant/announcing?

My MIL doesn’t want a grandchild

My husband & I have been married a year & together for 7 years total. My MIL & I do not have a good relationship but remain cordial & she doesn’t have a great relationship with my husband either. We all got along alright up until a few months before our wedding when she started arguing with me & him about honestly, I’m not even sure at this point. My husband has always sort of done his own thing outside of his family & is the youngest of 2 brothers who are twins & 7 years older then him (we are 25).. they are single men, with no children, who cater to their mothers every whim. My husband doesn’t. He was the first of them to move out (at 18 with me), the first to get married & now the first to have a child. This is our 2nd pregnancy, our first one ended in an early miscarriage, and this will now be our first child (I’m 33 weeks). My MIL has shown almost zero interest in my pregnancy & doesn’t seem to want to even be around me. I’ve tried to be nice & send her updates periodically, pics of the nursery, pics of our maternity pics, etc… and all I get back is short responses or none at all. At my baby shower she walked around with an annoyed expression and hardly spoke to me. She looked like it was inconvenient for her to even be there. Over the last 7 years of us being together she has talked about being a “nana” & now randomly has decided she hates the name (it was what they called her mother who is now deceased) stating it just isn’t meaningful to her & instead keeps googling random things such as “Goldie” & “Lollie”. My husband said “no” to both. I told them I don’t care at this point, whatever makes her happy. She occasionally (infront of my husbands entire family without me there) will randomly ask questions about boundaries with our son, rules, etc? But never acknowledges I’m even pregnant around me. I’m at a loss. To be honest, it hurts my feelings a little, but I don’t really care if she doesn’t like me, but it hurts my feelings to think she isn’t excited about her first grandchild or that she treats me the way she does & will expect to have some sort of entitlement to my son? Am I the ass hole? How am I supposed to make this better or do I just keep playing nice & ignore for the sake of my son & hope she tries to come around or be involved?

Crazy Mil

Did anyone else’s mother in law get crazy once you got pregnant? 🤣 She’s already telling me that she’s staying at my house the day we come home for a 2 week stay to help; absolutely not. This is my first child, I want to have space and be able to enjoy my sons first week of life with just my husband and I. She has never once visited me at my house at all, she always expect up to visit her when we only live 25 mins apart. We wouldn’t see her for months if we didn’t come see her ! So why only after I have my son do you finally want to visit let alone spend two weeks? She blows up my phone all day everyday wanting to know where I’m at and what I’m doing, then when I don’t respond it’s “You’re keeping the baby away from me” . No it’s literally just annoying we’re both adults and I have a life just like she does I could either be busy or resting but she doesn’t care. Then she got mad because she I told her she made me feel uncomfortable and it wasn’t her business to know when she asked me how my nipples and vagina felt and if I had lost my mucus plug. She then said it was her right to know because it’s her grandson and once again I was trying to keep my son from her 🤣. I’m so over her she’s literally stressing me out I get that she’s excited but she’s being obsessive and overbearing! I liked her before my pregnancy but I’m not sure if I like her anymore.

She’s a crazy one

We are in the middle of home renovations specifically our kitchen and my MIL complained that we went out to dinner tonight because we should be saving money….we’ll do you want to cook out of an instant pot, air fryer and grill for three months?

Completely uncalled for!!!

I was at my MIL house the other day visiting so they can see their grand daughter and we have her on formula as a supplement with breast feeding cause I don’t produce enough: And my daughter was crying and this women looks me dead set in the eyes and goes “ why is she crying I can’t tell what a formula baby wants. Cause all mine never had that toxic ness in them.”In that moment I wanted to back hand her across the face so bad because fed is best but she keeps making constant jabs whenever I’m over

Creepy MIL 😅

I got a text message from my MIL that we haven’t seen or spoken to in over 2 years because of a falling out she had with her son (my fiancé) over our children and her hatred towards me.Anyway, the text she sent said she’d heard we are getting married tomorrow and that she wishes us the best. Now, we’re not getting married tomorrow (we decided against it a while back). A few months ago, we talked about tomorrow as a possible date, and I set up a webpage to keep all the information on for reference. NO-ONE, not even my fiancé, knew about this webpage. I never mentioned it to anyone, and neither of us mentioned this date to anyone! So I asked where she got this information because we aren’t getting married just yet. Her reply was that she found out about it on Google...meaning, she Googled us...That’s just really creepy to me. If she’s doing Google searches, I can only imagine what else she could be doing.

Am I being irrational?

I have a 2 year old and am due with #2 end of October. I just found out my MIL is trying to organize the whole family to go skiing for Christmas when new baby would be 2 months old. We also live overseas so this would be an international flight with a toddler and newborn basically (2 months). I feel like this is pretty insensitive to ask of us? Going from 1 to 2 and traveling and having no ide how we’ll be managing. They are also not grandparents who help out with kids a lot and don’t support breastfeeding which I did with my first and hope to for my second. I just feel awful Bc I know my husband will want to be with everyone. Thoughts?

Over stepping MIL

Okay. So. My step daughter is 4 years old. I have been in her life since she was a baby. Me and my hubby are now expecting our first baby together and I am setting firm boundaries with my MIL who has had a habit of overstepping ever since I came into the picture. Me and hubby have 50/50 custody of my step daughter with her bio mom with a week on week off arrangement. During week days MIL takes my step daughter either to her house or to school (she has pre K Tuesdays, Wednesdays and thursdays) and brings her back home to me and hubby when we are both off work at 5. A few weeks ago, my step daughters mom signed her up for dance. Dance happens on fridays, I rarely work fridays as I typically only work 4 day weeks due to lack of hours thanks to covid. During me and my hubbies weeks we agreed that instead of my step daughter spending the day with MIL while I stayed home and did chores and errands I would start keeping my step daughter and taking her to dance and just having a girls day on fridays since it is also the last day of the week we have her before she goes back to her moms. Well. My MIL flipped out when we told her this. Even went so far as to come into our home after dropping my step daughter off with us one night only to start a fight infront of my step daughter, yelling at me and my hubby about how she is entitled to that time with her granddaughter and continued to force my step daughter to stand next to her and any time my hubby raised his voice towards MIL she would grab my step daughter and retreat to my step daughters room where we could hear her whispering things to her (not sure what). Finally, after probably 30 minutes to an hour of this MIL finally left our house. Me and hubby thought we had dealt with the problem after this. But I guess not. Today my step daughters mom messaged our group chat that includes myself, my hubby, her fiance and of course, my MIL. My step daughter has some warts and we haven't been able to get them dealt with lately as our clinics in the area were out of what they needed for it. Bio mom was informed they were restocked and asked if we could take my step daughter during our week in hopes she wouldn't freak out like she does with her mom. Before me and my hubby could respond MIL jumps intl there saying she will do it when me and hubby are working. Is it stupid of me to be upset about this?? Our clinics are open late and open on the weekends, there is no reason my hubby or myself cannot take her but MIL immediately just tells bio mom she will? She sees herself as my step daughters parent and it is so concerning sometimes. I can only imagine how she is going to act when my son is born, especially when she realizes I will go full on mama bear with her if she do much as holds my baby too long.

Skin to skin with grandma

Is this normal?

MIL help... am I being ridiculous?

So we are at my in laws house for Christmas. I am 8 weeks pregnant and we told them a few weeks ago. She was nice and asked to get some things at the store for me before we arrived since she knows I haven’t been feeling great. I told her what was working for me and mentioned that eggs and meat have really been setting off the nausea... So we get here and Christmas Eve she planned Charcuterie and fondu for dinner.... pretty much all things a pregnant lady can’t have... for breakfast she’s making a huge eggs and cheese casserole... and for Christmas dinner she’s planned filet ( which they usually cook medium rare...) with blue cheese topping...I’m not even sure why she asked what I have been able to eat if she was literally going to ignore everything and cook a whole bunch of food I’m not supposed to have... She’s also very upset because we asked her to wear a mask in her own home while we are here. She went to volunteer at an elementary school with 500+ kids 6 days before we got here...I don’t know what to do or how to respond and I’m afraid she’s going to be insulted if I don’t eat what she’s making...

Long rant

I just need to vent and maybe get advice on how to deal with it or just let it go. I'm a very sensitive person and given the history of how I've been talked to and the passive aggressive ways I've been talked to and I can't talk to him about it because thats his mom and no matter what I say, I am just crazy or there's an excuse to why I've been talked to that way. So, my mother in law and I have had our issues and she's very sneaky/ passive aggressive and the only people who don't see it or know and just accept it is her family. I get it, thats her family. When she's rude to me, she does it where her son can't see/hear it or in a nonchalant way so she can get away with it. Anyways, she got us Christmas gifts which is really nice and she didn't wrap them and we were supposed to. She put no names on them but some were in a pink and blue box and so I started to see which ones were for our 1 year old, him and mine. A month ago my fiance broke a military dog tag that I inscribed my love for him and him being a father, etc. I even did it before we even had the baby . So it broke and she knew it broke so she took the time to get him one and inscribe her words and how much she loves him. Ok, it made me upset because she copied me and was trying to replace what was special for him from me with something about her and to basically flaunt it in my face everyday like she had to see mine everyday (sounds crazy, but I know how she is) but there are worst things in the world. And belive me when I have tried to tell her that she hurts my feelings and I want a good relationship with her and she takes it to heart. And everytime I try and let things go, she does something that just makes me realize that she doesn't like me or is being passive and she knows now not to raise her voice at me and be rude because her son was catching on. So she does this passive stuff. Anyways, to my gift, you're honestly going to laugh. She got me a broom. I mean jokes on her because her son is the one who sweeps and mops but yes a broom.. and I'm also venting because all I can say is thank you and shut up and take it. If I were to say it in the nicest way possible my fiance would chew me out that she didn't have to get us anything. That's true. So yes, I'm probably going to just call her and say thank you and smile in front of my fiance and never tell him until maybe years later. I just needed to vent.