Hello my name is Stephanie and yesterday was my birthday. But not only was it my birthday but my birthday month will be 9th month trying to be pregnant.

I have became bitter and sad. My heart harden because I wanted to have someone love me and I protect them.

I work at a hospital and nothing was more humbling then having a new mom bitch you out because her chicken tenders were cold. I smiled and apologized for the cold food. I went down to the kitchen made her meal and brought it up myself instead of one of my employees.

.... very very humbling

I would be angry at the mother's and avoided the floor at all cost.

Last week I meditated and prayed to God for my hearts desire a beautiful baby girl made from love. I cried until there was nothing left and gave it over to HIM.

On my birthday I kept seeing different little girls that were mixed in race. But all if them were with their white family. I smiled because one of the girls had at hat that matched my hair style. She wore a white hat with two micky mouse fuzzy pom poms. She caught my eye. I saw the next little girl with her family and then a school shaped just like the one I attended growing up wasn't even near my old stomping grounds.

God is speaking to me.

I truly feel that this month I'll be pregnant. Because of all Gods signs

>the white families

>the mixed girls

>the hat

>the school

I just got a new job that has everything I ever could want . And when one of my older employees came to tell me goodbye. She said I dreamt of fish and you. And so did my grandma. Sherill's talent is that when she dreams of fish someone close to her is pregnant. Every time she would dream of fish she tell me. And I would hope and pray it was my turn. But it was her daughter, my employee, my coworker's employee. Just never Stephanie. And my heart was harden at the time.

Now I feel so new and light

Her grandma was admitted to the hospital and I had the honor and pleasure to take care of her, in her time of need. She dreamt of fish and my face......

I have 9 days til my period and I'm finally not stressed and missing my periods. I've found peace.in 9 days I will have closure.

Positive or negative 😊

GOD BLESS

Did I mention I bought a fish for my meditation room. He symbolize my spontaneous wants and that can be desired and obtain. He makes the best of his surroundings. And

And make the best of it

I hope you that is reading this lets it go and keeps swimming too.

Trouble getting pregnant 5+ years