Recently my 3 year old girl told me that her 4 year old friend taught her a silly game where he showed her that they pull down their underwear and put their “private parts” together. She also said there was kissing of bellies and legs. Obviously this was a giant red flag for me so I just asked her as much as I could about it while staying as calm as possible. I asked her about the: who, when, why, and where. Reminded her that this is not ok or appropriate, and have since purchased several books about boys/girls body parts, boundaries, and consent.

This all really caught me off guard because she brought it up really nonchalantly and out of the blue one day. Several weeks after it had happened. It also scared me that she didn’t think what had happened was anything bad or serious. Which made me feel like I have been failing as a parent to keep her safe.

That same afternoon, I told my husband, and the parents of the other child what our daughter had told me..... (we all just happened to be together and their children weren’t there). The other parents almost immediately blamed the behavior on the influence of a child they know. And agreed that kind of behavior must have been learned somewhere else.

A few days later, the mom messaged my husband and I saying that she had talked to her son about the incident. She said that it was his idea, that no one else had taught him or showed him anything like that. And that it was just “embedded in his dna” and part of curiosity and not understanding his bodily functions yet.

I really had and am having a tough time with that answer.

I’m not sure if I’m just jaded or what.... but over the years I’ve noticed and experienced behavior from this kid that I have been less than thrilled about. For example, he will kick or punch the dogs or cats for absolutely no reason, he will become very violent if he doesn’t get his way, and he can be beyond stubborn when faced with authority.

This past week I’ve been trying to decide if I should reach out to the parents (who are good friends of ours) and tell them that I’m concerned about his behavior. I have some background working with kids and the way that these type of behaviors manifest later in life are not good.

I was hoping I could get some advice or perspective on here as to what you might do?

Sept '16 Babies