I need advice

can still reported if your toxic siblings physical abused and verbal abused you?

Trigger ⚠️ possible physical abuse

I need someone to tell me I’m not over reacting… we were on our way back from the hospital with our two sleeping children in the back one almost two and the other is barely 2 months old after being born at 29 weeks. He got pissed because I had asked him what his plans were future wise when it came to his living situations. We aren’t technically together but he came to Texas when I had complications during the pregnancy and is from Virginia originally. In order to figure out baby sitting and what I can do for work I needed to know if he’d be here in Texas or if he planned to go back to Virginia and fight me for our son ( we already fought over our daughter the oldest and I won physical custody) I have a video that I can’t post but I’ll explain. I asked and he instantly became defensive and it escalated to where he turned to radio all the way up to drown me out. Me being worried about the children would not stop and I continuously tried to turn the music down. Over and over and over. Every single time I even reached for the knob he would slap my hand, wrap his palm and fingers around the back of my hand and squeeze until my knuckles ground together and popped, and lastly let go of the steering wheel to drive with his knee so he could grab my forearm with one hand and my right hand with the other and then press my entire hand pointing down palm going in toward my wrist. It only lasted a second or two but it hurt so bad my mouth was open in a silent scream. There was also another time where he got physical. We were again in the car and I had yawned and he decided to shove his finger down my throat so naturally I bite down out of reflex. Well my brain keeps trying to rationalize that what happened next was his reflex, he popped me in the face with the back of his hand. There’s a lot of other details but these are the only two times he’s gotten physical with me. He terrifies me when it comes the kids he really does and it’s getting to were I can hardly sleep. He’s so rough and mean to our baby boy and he’s so quick to lose his temper but he refuses to let me do anything for him. It’s like parental alienation but right in front of me. I can’t leave or kick him out just yet because we’re fixing to get evicted and I have no where to go just yet.

PTSD?

So I was in an abusive relationship at 18 with a guy for over a year. He is a narrsasist and has aspd which he thought was something to brag about. We started dating the week lockdown hit and even though we didnt know each other well neither of us wanted to be alone and isolated so i moved in with him during the lockdown period. The emotional abuse and manipulation started pretty much after two weeks but i couldnt really see it to begin with. I have autism and struggle to pick up on things until its too late. Eventually he got very physical. I wasnt allowed a phone and had no contact with friends or family, he controlled what i wore and what i ate. I wasnt even allowed to go to work unless he was there watching me. He would accuse me of cheating constantly even though i wasnt allowed to talk to people and then he would tell me he was cheating just to hurt me (even if it isnt true. I dont know if it was). I found r*pe porn on his phone even though he knew of my previous trauma and told me hed never do that (come to find he had a past record of it as a younger teen). He had stabbed me with knives, choked me out and broken my property on the daily. Even abused our two kittens i rescued . At 19 i found out i was pregnant and he promised me things would change. I was just so so scared of leaving him and didnt have anywhere to go. Things did changed for a little but at 6 weeks pregnant he got drunk and started threatening me. Saying he never has and never will love me, doesnt care about the baby or me and wants us gone. He pulled a knife out and i ran. He chased me down the street bashing and choking me until i eventually got away and made it to the servo. I was half naked, he ripped some of my ear and face peircings out and i was covered in blood. The man working there refused to let me borrow his phone to call the police and kicked me out but luckily some off dutey cops showed up to fill their car. They arrested him and that night i packed a small bag full of everything i needed and ran away. I left all my belongings behind but just didint know when hed be coming back. My family... even though they knew the whole story they disowned me for being pregnant and refusing to marry him. I thought about getting an abortion because of the lack of support I had but I already loved the baby and was told i was infertile. My high school sweatheart and I kept in touch on and off for years and at 8 months pregnant we ended up dating, although it was a weird situation i was fully accepted into his family. My ex was only given a good behaviour order for 18 months and an fvo for 18 months. Seeing him walkong around town free made me sick. My boyfriend and I moved out of state before my son was born and are doing amazingly. Hes the best dad in the world and were currently saving for IVF in hopes of a second little miracle. Ive been struggling with severe anxiety and nightmares for almost 3 years now and its been getting worse and worse lately. My exs sentance and order is ending in a few weeks. Right before my sons first birthday, hes got a famous brother who happens to know everyone i know and im scared they know where i am and will come for me. The courts have granted me full custody but said until he hurts my baby he will have parental rights if he aplies for them. Im just so scared he will fight for rights to my son and will hurt him just to break me. Thats the type of person he is. Im just really struggling.

Order of protection is not working

I recently got an order of protection against my husband. He came over to talk things out one day and he was so rude and disrespectful I told him to leave . He then snatched my phone out my hand while i was not paying attention and I tried to get my phone back. My 18 year old daughter saw us and she tried to get his off of me. He completely bruised me and daughter up from being so rough and he got away with my phone. He dropped it back off later that day shattered. He came by my house again tonight banging on all of my windows and I called the police but of course he was gone and left . I’m moving soon and I hope the judge keeps my address a secret from him because he is crazy and I’m scared for me and my daughter at times especially at night. That’s when he does most of his dirty work. So we have him blocked and my daughter does too and he is still texting my daughter from random numbers. He texted my daughter this and I’m so upset but in keeping it all for my records

Truma for a baby?

So recently my partner got physicallyabusive towards me (which hes not done before). He screamed at me and hit me in front of our 8 month old baby. Everytime he hit me our baby would scream in a way ive never heard before. Im so worried that this caused some permanent damage to him. As genetic issues run in the family that can be triggered as children by truma. EDIT: I'm not looking for relationship advice and i never said i was staying with him after that. My question is will it cause damage to my 8 month old after that.

I don’t know what to do or how to feel.

My ex/ the father of my child reached out yesterday evening asking to start contact with his child again. It’s been 8 months of no contact since we broke up in March after he got me pregnant, abused me and then left me pregnant. A bit of background info, I lost the baby shortly after we split up, he refused to come to the funeral, refused to see our daughter, refused to admit the abuse he put me through (both mental, emotional and physical),refused to pay child support and has only just made his first payment this month. As I said he reached out apologised for leaving me pregnant and not paying sooner and is asking for supervised visits with our child.. I feel lost on what to do. This isn’t the first time he’s walked out on his child for months at a time and I don’t want to agree to supervised visits just for her to be letdown again..I also have no idea how I’m ment to feel comfortable being around him after all he put us through. I asked my daughter if she would want to see him if she could and her response was ‘if he’s sorry maybe we can be a family again’ and it broke my heart. We will never be a family again regardless as him and I will never be back together. What do I do? Do I agree to supervised visits? Do I ignore the message? I feel so unsure, emotional and angry! just reading his message threw me in to a panic attack 😭

Group

I never knew there was a group that talked about Domestic Violence and while I am sad that all of you guys are going through this, I am also filled with a bit of hope and joy as the comments on each post warm my heart to see that you guys are so supportive of each other. I work as an advocate in different police departments and I see and go through this on a daily basis. A lot of victims don’t have a support system (typically because their partner has restricted all access from friends, family, etc) so for you all to come here and be so brave to share your story and pictures, that comes from a very strong heart. I will just say this, the abuse will only get WORSE. Please seek help. Please get in contact with your local domestic violence agency, request an advocate at the police departments you file a report. Even if you aren’t filing a report, request a domestic violence advocate! We are NOT required to share what you share with us and can help you get the resources you need. But please, LEAVE. That man or woman will only continue to get worse. The kids won’t make them stop abusing you and neither will the length of the relationship change anything. The alcohol wasn’t the problem, the family issues were not the problem, they ARE. Wishing you guys the best🤍

How do you continue to trust again

It seems like every time I get out of abusive relationships I learn to trust, but when I learn to trust the abuse just continues with another person. It’s making me never want to trust people again. Help? I’m tired of being let down

trauma bonded

Does it ever stop can it ever get better ❤️‍🩹 why can’t I just walk away why can’t I get away. Married a monster but I love him I see past the crazy past the narcissistic and abusive behavior the manipulation he’s turning into a skitso. I run but he finds me I come home home isn’t home. We lost our baby last year and I have a bonus baby with him who just turned four been in his life since 3 months my heart hurts to Just walk away from the child I know he isn’t biologically mine. I left sept first it broke me I was gone all month he asked me come home said we will get help professionally marriage counseling we havnt done one class since oct 1st. I know I may get back lash. But how does one get away and stay away from this. Has anyone ever been trauma bounded help

Coparenting

I have been avoiding getting a restraining order because it will make things difficult. Is there a way to coparent with a restraining order?

Help ?!

Hello 👋 I wanted some advice on how to deal with my baby’s dad. I have not been with him going on 6 years because he was abusive. Since he can’t abuse me physically anymore he is verbally and emotionally abusive. One minute he is begging for me back and saying I ruined his life and my child’s for leaving him and the next he is arguing with me about any and every decision I have to make without any solutions just arguments. I am emotionally exhausted. I can’t take it any more. This is really ruining my life and he makes everything so difficult since I am doing well without him. Is there anything I can do to limit communication or not have to deal with him anymore? Something anything is appreciated. Thanks. For my sanity I need help.

I’m slowly finding myself

I’m so happy that I left a unhealthy relationship with my kids dad after three years of getting cheated on and feeling so low as a woman..

Leaving an abusive relationship

Hello, I wanted to share my story and ask for any advice I can get right now. I’m 25f, and my husband almost 27m have been together for a little over 5 years now. At first things were great, hardly ever even bickered. We had such a connection I’ve never had with anyone before, like almost psychic. Fast forward to almost a year into dating, we moved in. That’s when I realized just how much of a drinking problem he had. Once I moved in, he started having me buy his alcohol so his mom wouldn’t see the charges (she was on his checking account until just maybe 2 weeks ago when he finally changed it), and had me always drive except when he worked so he could avoid getting a dui. That’s when we started fighting more, but not more than the average couple. But that’s when the controlling and manipulation started. He found “excuses” for why I couldn’t just go see my friends and family. Then we bought our house and moved out of his parents a few months later (we were engaged by then). After about 2 months of living there, I got pregnant with our son. At 20 weeks along, we got married a little sooner than planned because of covid and my job had laid us off (this way I was guaranteed insurance if I lost my job before the baby came. Not even a month later we got into a stupid fight and that’s when the threats of divorcing me started. I grew up in a broken home (caused by my dad’s alcoholism (which he’s now recovered from) and abuse he put my mom through because of), and due to that I was always adamant that I would never become divorced much less a divorced single mother unless things became to abusive or the person abuse our children. He wouldn’t let me go to bed without putting pajamas on that night (we usually slept naked together at that point). Things were already pretty rough at that point. I felt like I was alone in my pregnancy both because of the rules due to covid and him just not really participating in the pregnancy. Come time to have my son, we went in on the night of his birthday, and of course he was drinking. He drove us to the hospital, something that scared me. He even brought a insulated bottle of vodka with him. He slept through most of my labor (19 or so hours at the hospital). By the time we were discharged, he was withdrawing from the liquor and agitated from lack of nicotine as well and was a dick the whole way home. Fast forward to October of 2021 after dealing with just emotional and verbal and mental abuse, things slowly became physical. First with shoving, and he’d also grabbed my nose with hot tongs from the grill.He had also started making some serious damage to our house (he’d already created some small holes from throwing things like his vape (something he constantly did and does, causing me to replace idk how many))Not long after this (probably January 2022) after him begging me for 2+ years to sleep with other guys (a kink of his), I finally broke down and decided to (something I had to smoke and drink to do, he’d only been the second guy I had slept with and have PTSD from SA as a child), and continued to push me to keep doing after (which he found the first guy for me). Fast forward to this year. Everything got worse with him, his drinking and mental state. The first time he choked me was the last weekend of March. Two days later his parents and I had him 302ed (cops force him to the hospital since he discharged himself and was out of his mind and threatening to off himself before he could go to rehab the next day). He was in rehab for a month, and came home a changed man, so I thought. He was a version of himself that I fell in love with again, until I found out he went right back to drinking and hid it from me, then the abuse started again. He went back to rehab again, only for 4-5 days, and came home again. Mind you he’s also barely worked in the last year by this point due to his health caused by drinking ( cirrhosis of the liver and chronic pancreatitis (his liver was so bad that they thought he might need a transplant the summer before)), so I was pretty much the only one supporting our family only making about $16 an hour and the little bit of short term disability he was bringing in. We became deep in debt by now. Then he went to the psych ward for threatening to kill himself. By this point it had only been the abuse mentioned and some slaps to the face. Then he choked me again last month. In the past month, he’d also thrown his phone in to a fire and I had to fish it out with a stick, and then he hit our small fire pit towards our house saying he was gonna burn it down, which the fire pit headed towards me in a big ball of fire,  singeing my hair on my head and some of my eyebrow. (The spot where the fire pit sat before I kicked it away and stomped any flames out)Then this past weekend, I realized I definitely needed to leave, or he would kill me (something he’s threatened/the things he threatened to do that could result in death). Or I would kill him for putting our son in harms way. He had only been home about 2 hours when hed already broke the tip on his new vape tank, and then started escalating out of no where over nothing. He started choking me again while I held our son this time, lit my side of the bed on fire while our son and I sat on his sideThen he lit his side on fire when I was trying to leaveCausing me to put both out with my bare hand while holding our now almost 3 year old son. He then began throwing things, including one of my sons toys at another toy breaking it, and then ended up hitting our son with cardboard (something he apologized immediately to our son for), tried ripping my son out of my arms and when he realized I was not gonna let go easily, slammed me up against our bedroom door while choking me, trying to rip my throat out. When he finally let go, I started trying to call 911, and he got on top of me on the bed by shoving me down, pinning my sons legs on top of me. I was so focused on my son and trying to dial 911 that I honestly couldn’t tell you what he did to me besides being on top of me, crushing me with all 190 lbs of him. As 911 was ringing, he ripped my shirt in the front half off (and broke my necklace that I always wear with my great grandmas fingerprint and a cross and jewel he’d gotten me out first Christmas together) and didn’t stop till he realized I had rang through as I screamed our address at the lady, full on in hysterics. I ran outside to get away from him, not caring if passerby’s saw me with my shirt barely hanging on, bra exposed. He kept begging me to hang up, and tried snatching the phone out of my hands, almost causing my son and I to go over the railing to our porch (at least 8ft above ground). The police arrested him and told me he would not be allowed to contact me (something the court included as part of his bail). Which before the cops got there, he begged me to lie to them like I had the weekend prior when he’d punched me 5+ times and kicked me 5+ times in the face and head (I only lied that time cause I was scared and because I had punched back and had caused more physical apparent damage despite only punching him 3-4 times (I only looked red where as he had a busted fat lip, despite me getting a concussion from it). At that point I didn’t know how I looked, and he was stupid if he thought the cops wouldn’t know he choked me. I cried when I looked in the mirror after they left while I was on the phone with his parents.Since then his parents forced him into rehab, and I’ve been staying with them and my son. He was charged with simple assault, harassment, strangulation, arson, and child endangerment. I’ve made my mind up that I will not be going back to him, going to get a PFA, and he can kiss any type of custody goodbye if I have any say. I will be testifying against him in court. But I’m lost. Idk what to do at the moment, and everything is on me to take care of including cleaning up our house, packing everything, and trying to sell it. His dad really wants me to rent a place on my own without a roomate, but idk how I’m gonna do that. And what’s worse, I feel like I can’t hate him because I know if he had taken the help he could have gotten for his mental state and stayed sober, we would have been so happy. And I was raised to hate no one. But I definitely can’t forgive him. I treated him like a king while I was treated like trash. And I know I don’t deserve that. This was my neck as of Wednesday night.I had also gone to the hospital Monday and the forensic nurse took pictures of every bruise on my body and mark and sent it to the police. Thankfully other than some broken blood vessels inside my throat (also photographed), I’m okay internally. My son is also thriving without his dad around, so much happier. This is me:And this is my story. I know it could have been worse, but that’s why I’m getting out now. Any advice would be appreciated, and I will gladly read all of your stories if you’d like to share. ❤️‍🩹

Left my sister to her decision to go back to an abusive relationship

TW: Domestic Violence Hi all, I'm (26f) looking for advice but also to know weather I've been a complete asshole.My younger sister (22f) was in an abusive relationship until around 6 months ago, during the relationship he didnt hit her but did other thing such as throwing things at her, giving her drugs and pretending they were part of her prescriptions, punching holes in walls/ doors and even smashing her windows. Eventually she went to the police and got a restraining order put out against him, ended things and seemed to be moving forward and healing.. that was until today. I found out she has been in contact with him and even had him over at her house a few days ago. This whole time she has been avoiding contacting me saying shes having a bad period this month. Usually we speak daily but she has been avoiding me for just over a week now so today I messaged again, had no reply and decided to call as I was concerned. She opened up that she has been in contact with him, that she had him over and that she wants to work on things with him. Obviously I went into asking her side and what happened then explained why it just isnt a good idea; I reminded her of the things he has put her through such as the smashing up her home, screaming in her face, drugging her and throwing things, cheating, I even mentioned the fact he has started taking meth since they broke up. After talking this through with her she got very upset with me for 'bringing up the past' and told me he has changed and got clean, apparently he hasnt used for a couple of months but honestly I dont believe a word of it as I know he lies through his teeth to get what he wants. After about 2 hours of talking I realised she has made her mind up here and I dont know how I'm supposed to help her, we arent in the same country and I did try to contact resources in her country for help to no avail. This is where I may be the asshole; after we spoke and I'd realised her mind is made up I explained to her that while I'm here if she ever needs me, I can not sit and watch her go through this again. I have also been in an abusive relationship and it is beyond triggering for me to sit and listen to her praise an abuser like that. I also know I can not handle her calling me at all hours screaming and crying again as I'm absolutely useless in that situation and essentially had to sit and listen to the abuse happening as there isnt a way for me to contact the police in her country, she would have to do it herself but would call me instead. As you can imagine this is incredibly traumatic and frankly its terrifying sat not knowing if I were to be a witness to my own sisters abuse or at worst death if it had escalated that far. In my message I explained that I cant sit and watch that happen to her again, that I cant wait here faking happiness for her getting back with a man that ruined her life and mental wellbeing, I then sent her some domestic violence resources and told her to message me if theres any emergency or if she decides against the relayionship/ if she leaves him, gave a seperate number to message or call on and removed her from being able to message me on our main platform of communication. I feel awful, like I have thrown her to the wolves but I really just can not handle it all over again, I had to seek mental health help after last time which I'm still in trying to process the things I witnessed happen to her, it was so traumatic I still have nightmares where I get a call telling me he went too far and she has died or watching him escalate from screaming and throwing punches at walls into him beating her to death while I'm sat helplessly on facetime unable to do anything. It has become my biggest fear and while I love her I have been told I need to put my own wellbeing first as she is an adult that will make these decisions with or without me. As a DV victim myself I know how hard it is to actually get out of these relationships though and I feel like a complete asshole for leaving her to go back. Am i a complete asshole for leaving my sister to make this mistake? Could I have done anything else here and if so what? I love her so much, I dont want to see this happen to her and I'm so scared it will escalate further than before. Any advice would be great.

Is it possible abuser doesn’t remember hitting me?

I’ve googled this and found a few articles about “narcissist black out eyes” and how when rage takes over they sometimes blackout.Im asking for personal experience because a few days ago my boyfriend hit me repeatedly for the first time. I made a post here about I started an argument and it ended with him kicking me in the face and ribs. He has tried talking to me and when I brought it up, he was shocked and said I am lying. Now it’s entirely possible he is gasliting me, but he ACTUALLY seemed surprised and taken back by my statement. He didn’t get mad, he just asked questioned as if he really didn’t know what happened. I wonder if this “narcissist black out” happened? Of course he could be lying, but his reaction and confusion seemed very very real.

My boyfriend hit me & I feel like it’s my fault

My boyfriend put his hands on me for the first time, we were in a heated argument and I told him to get out of my apartment. He kept calling me crazy and I was screaming at him to get out. I initiated the argument and honestly lost my temper and my anger went 0-100. I didn’t hit him I just kept yelling to get out. He lunged at me, grabbed my hair and shoved me down on the bed. I ran out of the room and he tried taking my phone away and when I grabbed it out of his hands he grabbed my hair again, threw me to the ground and kicked me in the face. He kicked me in the ribs and kept pulling my hair. He grabbed my face and shook me and then grabbed me and threw me to the ground. Every time I ran to the door he blocked me and tackled me. It took me 20 minutes to finally get out the door and run away. I feel like I pushed him by the way I started screaming and instigating the argument. He has never put his hands on me before but a few months ago he did throw a full cup of Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee at my face. He threw it so hard the lid cracked from hitting my face. I know this is abuse, but why do I feel guilty and trying f to justify it? The next day he brought me flowers and asked to take me to dinner. He brought me groceries and asked if I needed any medicine to help my anxiety. I feel confused and overwhelmed.

How do you do it?

Hey there. I am just curious on how you personally handle seeing your abuser in public?I was in a very toxic relationship when I was 19-20 years old. The man was very abusive to me. He was a narcissist who only ever wanted to hurt me. Things were perfect in the beginning. I was so in love with this wonderful man. He made me his number one priority and loved me unconditionally. Two months in, that began to quickly fade. I was then seen as an issue. I was taken away from my family and if I went over there to see my parents, I had a time limit for when I needed to come back. If I went to work and came back a bit later, I was seen as cheating and he would punish me. The whole relationship was awful. He would force himself on me when I would pass out drunk (which he would have me drink until I did) trying to get me to have his baby. He then would play a constant mind game with me and I was too weak then to understand. I have a scar on my hand from him cutting me with a knife after I stood up for myself. That’s just some of what happened. Fast forward, I am now 27, pregnant and with my current boyfriend. I now see said ex everywhere. He knew where I worked and came in knowing I was the only server/ bartender at those times. I then left the job because I did not want to serve him. I am now at a place he doesn’t know which makes me happy. Although, I now see him at the gas station I frequent and around town. Much more than I ever did.When I see him, my body reacts. I try to smile and act like he has no effect on my life but inside I’m shaking and crying because he scares me. I can’t handle it. Today, I saw him at the store while I’m was with my boyfriend. I feel guilty having to tell my current boyfriend that my abuser is here and I’m going to have a hard time. That’s not fair to my partner. I’ve been to therapy and it hasn’t seemed to help my situation one bit. I just go into survival mode when I see him. When I was his server, I would smile, make small talk and act as though I was fine. When I’d go to back room, I was having an anxiety attack and crying as I relived the horrors he put me though. How do I move on from this? How am I able to see him in person without the constant panic? It’s ruining my life. I don’t want this man running my life especially when my daughter will be here in two short months. I’m just losing it…

Black eye

Hi I’m only 18 and I’m going thru a very tough time with my ex. A little more than 2 weeks ago me and my ex got into one of the worst fights we’ve been into, I did not hit him first but I definitely hit him back. We were arguing and he threw me out the car as I stated an opinion of something I did not like as we were attempting to get food. He made me get out and walk the rest to the house and cracked my phone with threatening to break it (he does these two things very often, pushing me out the car and breaking all my devices) I walked to the house and he always tells me to get out or go home after all this stuff and will lock the door on me. Clearly this is something that would upset someone, and my purse is in his house so I’m constantly texting him and knocking to bring my purse outside so I can leave. My homegirl also lives with him and I told her to bring it to me not including her in anything but I did want to go home and not without my purse, he doesn’t allow her. After a few knocking on the window and the door he comes out and slaps me and I try to hit him with something but not purposely aiming for him, he then chokes me until I cannot breathe and I fall face flat onto the concrete as he tries to pick me up he says “ sorry sorry “ then proceeds to say “ that’s your fault that’s what you get “ I’m yelling I cannot breathe with blood leaking out my mouth because my lip is busted. I’m crying and he just throws all my stuff outside and drags me thru the dirt I’m dirty and just beat up. He’s telling me stand in the street or across the street and do not come back infront of his house. I have no where to go it’s 2am and I’m all bloody I didn’t want to call anyone bc I already knew the outcome. Fast forward my phone is dying I’m telling him to put it on the charger in the car and I do say it with an attitude or whatever and then we get to fighting again. At this point I’m chasing him around because he spit on me multiple times and he does this often which is my biggest issue with him. I pull his hair very hard and then he chokes me out again this time for much longer I feel as though I passed out, as I wake up I’m very confused with everything just laying on the dirt crying and screaming. He claims I fell on the side of my face while he was choking me but I really do believe he punched me before that or something I don’t know but my face was a mess. I had a huge lump on the side of my eye and scratches everywhere. I would insert pics but I don’t want anyone to know what I look like. I suffer with anxiety really bad so I get into the car and just scream and scream I really didn’t know what to do next. I told him we need to stop talking to each other but he doesn’t like getting painted as the bad guy. He made me walk around with glasses on for days and I couldn’t be with my friends because I was so scared to tell them what happen. I avoided everyone for a while I felt so ugly and just embarrassed that I even let something like this continue happening. I want to get out of this situationship eventually.

advice

this is my ex boyfriend the father of my child who showed up unannounced to my home and did this. i am showing this to the court at my hearing on the 12th, i just want to know what everyone thinks and the gun my mother in law is seen handing to my sister in law is fake but he brought it to scare us. i’m trying to get full custody of my daughter because this isn’t the first time this has happened, i am 8 months pregnant here and the DA has a child abuse case against him for this and cps has a case open as well. just want opinions and advice. thank you . please don’t judge i’m doing the best i can and have a restraining order on him but have the court date on wednesday and hopefully the judge will extend it. i’m just nervous and need kind words and advice. thank you