I am just so incredibly pissed. I used to believe in God you know? I used to be a Christian and I was strong in my Faith. I prayed to him every night. I went to church from 1 months old up until I was 18ish. I did everything a woman of god was supposed to do.

What do you know though? I'm not even sure the god I learned about is even real and if he is, he is nothing like I thought he was.

People SUFFER. Some have NOTHING. Shit turns into more shit and what did I do? I prayed because that's all I could do and I had faith that he would make things better. After month upon months of praying and having others pray with me for over a year, I finally gave up in 2018.

What kind of god let's those you love live in pain? What kind of god let's a missionary get mugged, then beaten while preaching his word in Africa? What kind of shit is that? What kind of god will bring a child into an abusive family and not fix it or help the child somehow? Now look at 2020, what even is this shit?

I'm so angry for having faith for so many years and then when I need him the most it's like he never even cared or existed. I prayed for so long because I understood that when you pray he doesn't always say yes. Sometimes it's not right now or no or maybe. I was so stupid to think he would actually help those I prayed for.

Almost everyone in my family is a Christian, as far as I know I am only the one that Agnostic. It's a shit feeling. Feeling guilty cause you're not going to church and your family knows it. They stopped trying to make me years ago, but it still bothers me that every single time were together it's god this or god that, oh let's play some godly music and worship. Like geez okay I understand and accept the fact that everyone has they're right to religion or whatever but please just chill for a minute and let's just hang out for 5 minutes without god music or talk

Edit: oh and let me add, the only reason my family stopped bothering me about it is because they believe that I'll come believe and have Faith again some day, like this is just a phase. I don't even argue with them. I just smile and go along with it because it's not even worth it

Atheists & Agnostics of Glow