i (25 F) have been dating my fiancé (24 M) for almost two years. It has been to me a picture perfect relationship. We rarely fight and when we do we solve it by talking things out. He's the kindest and gentlest person I've dated. With this being said there are some things that have come to rub me the wrong way.

1. He is incredibly needy and whines and mopes when he doesn't get his way. It could be as something as simple as me not cuddling him the right way or me saying no to something he suggests.

2. He constantly makes comments about my body in a way that makes me uncomfortable, for example calling my butt fat or a part of me thick. Even asking him to stop has not helped.

3. When we're apart he will guilt me into sending him pictures or videos of my body if he's horny and im not.

I just dropped him off at the airport this morning after a horrible week long visit and im wondering if I might be in a relationship with someone who is emotionally abusive and im starting to put the pieces together. The visit started with a wedding which I had invited him to a year ago. I was in the wedding party and he was my plus one. During the wedding he had absolutely no interest in participating in any celebrating or festivities with me. He complained about the food, the music, the weather, everything. He refused to dance with me and I practically dragged from his chair when a slow song came on. ( Before the wedding he said he wanted to slow dance) When making conversation about wedding ideas he couldn’t even give me an idea of who he would want to be his best man. This is someone who’s already proposed to me and wants to marry me within the next three months if I decide to move to the states. That night while I was taking out my hair and makeup he just looked at me and said "thank God all that shit doesn't suit you" The next morning while getting ready to leave our air bnb he called me fat. Not once, but twice. i was trying on a pair of shorts (that he bought for me even though I said I didn't want them) and i was a bit self conscious so i stated i didn’t feel comfortable in them and he said “of course you’re uncomfortable you have pudge rolls.” I ended up changing which he whined about for a bit before letting it go. As a bit of a history I’ve struggled with anorexia nervosa on and off most of my life and he’s well aware of this. This comment crushed me. It has been eating at me since.

He also made zero effort to interact with my family and goes so far as to say he hates them. He actively avoids them and tell me how much they don't care about me and how I'll be better off without them. He has told me that once we’re married they won’t be allowed to visit, they won’t be able to be around our kids etc.

One night we were out as a group, my fiancé, my friend and my brother and I. I walked out of the bar abruptly to take a phone call from my mom and my fiancé apparently lost it on my friend because I shouldnt "walk off like that alone without telling HIM" I was told he was screaming at her to the point that she told him to smarten the fuck up.

He has also driven a wedge between me and my life long best friend by saying she's toxic and doesn't support us so I should cut ties with her. I feel horrible that Iistened to him as many fights between my best friend and I have taken place with him being the reason.

And the icing on the cake, happened a few days ago. we all went out for dinner to celebrate my mom's birthday and a friend of mine came along (the same friend he freaked out on). part way through dinner my friend wanted a sweater from my car so my fiancé gave her the keys (he'd insisted on driving while hes here) so she did that and then left the keys on the end of the table when she returned. when we were leaving we all forgot my keys and i went back in to get them and my fiancé followed me (obviously). i grabbed them and jokingly said "you're fired from driving" and stuck my tongue out at him. In a teasing way.

and he was like FOR WHAT?!

and i was like (jokingly) well you walked away from the keys. and he responded *screaming*"WHAT THE FUCK, how does that even make sense. how was i supposed to keep track of them when your friend touched them last, that doesn't even make sense, that's fucked you're fucked etc etc. He was so angry there was spit flying from his mouth and my friend stood there and was shocked. My fiancé has never raised his voice with me like that. I've never screamed at him. Having PTSD from previous relationships put me into a freeze mode and I almost started to cry. But when I got in the car he acted like nothing happened. I felt stupid for being upset because he wasn't anymore. I was so angry but felt like I couldn't express it.

Last night we slept together and I felt physically sick during and after. I said yes because I did t want to deal with his moping and whining. I have been SA many times in my life and he is well aware of this as he stood by my when my ex was put in prison. When I talk about my past trauma he either shames me by telling me it's wrong to talk about it or he'll just tell me to stop talking.

I'm so torn as to what this is and how to moce forward. It's so hard for me to picture this man as abusive but the way he's escalating scares me as. I just need to know if I'm being sensitive or if I should be making a plan to break this off before starting a visa application.

Support for abuse/rape victims