I’m a fiercely independent person. I like to do things on my own and take care of things.

My problem is that my soon to be MIL is forcing me to accept her help for planning my wedding. After a couple of issues, we had a sit down talk and came to an agreement that she is not supposed to do anything for the wedding unless I ask for it or if she asks me if she can first.

But now, I come to find out she’s shopping around for the silverware/flatware for the wedding without telling me. Furthermore, she told my fiancé (her son) not to tell me she was doing it either. I’ve already got the flatware and silverware taken care of, and she would’ve known that if she had talked to me.

Am I being prideful for getting angry that she’s doing this? I know she’s just trying to help, but I feel like she’s stepping on my feet and I feel like she’s acting like I can’t do it on my own.

EDIT: I guess I should clarify some things: I honestly don’t care about the silverware/flatware. It’s not really that I mind her doing that, I’m upset she’s not doing what we agreed and then also trying to keep it a secret.

And it’s not that I’m excluding her. I’ve sent her what the wedding invites look like, I asked her to gather pictures of my fiancé to show at the wedding, and she’s been cleaning the bottles I’m using as centerpieces. I’ve gotten her the color swatches that she’s asked for even so she could buy a dress.

But when I told her that I don’t want an isle runner and she goes and asks the church for one anyways, that’s not ok. When she opened the sealed packet and went through the material that me and my fiancé were supposed to go through and look at before we used the church, that’s not ok. And going around and telling people she thinks I’m going to throw her son a “birthday party” wedding hurts my feelings. Also, she demanded that some of her friends are invited to the wedding AND my bridal shower (which I’ve given in to).

In Law Rant