So I know I'm going to get a lot of hate for this but I just need to get it off my chest. Sorry long post.

Me and my fiancé both have children from past relationships and we have 2 together. We want to get married and have discussed dates however there's something that's putting me off .

His child is 19 and I have zero contact with him he stole from me he told lies to me and his dad trying to get us to fight whilst living with us all whilst I treated him equally to my kids would always buy him when I brought them even brought him some extras sometimes because his mum hadn't been around for years. I took him on days out and took care of him whilst his dad worked. He was punished for the things he did (electronics removed , grounded etc) and all was forgotten so to speak. Then one day he moved in with his mum after no contact for 7 years we found out by her texting me to say he'd moved in. We've found out it was because his girlfriend lived right by his mum's (he was 17 at the time)

Since living there it's been even worse from him more stealing more lies him telling his sisters mum all the info about me mine and his dad's relationship our children ( fiancé has no contact with daughter as baby mum banned him because we moved town 🙄) he's been forwarding images, info and everything saying mean things about my children to his mum and sisters mum etc so I decided to stop all contact between me and him and no longer allow him in my children's lives he's only seen my youngest on video call after her birth. He still obviously has contact with his dad.

You can now probably assume my issue with a wedding, obviously my fiance will want his son there as will I to keep my fiancé happy it's his day too however I do not want him near my children, seeing them or potentially getting recent images of them to be nasty about and send around

*Edit*

Gigi- he was actually really close to me and often told me so himself - his behaviour was due to his poor upbringing so I believe and as I said it was sorted and moved on from. I do not resent him however he has been asked not to pass on information to others and not spread images around of my children and he never stuck to it so I have removed myself and my children from potential harm due to the people he has given these to.

I do not want him and my children at the wedding because this will just trigger the same cycle of abuse he causes when he knows information.

He is a very troubled person and has had a very messed up chaotic upbringing and for that I feel sorry for him however I have to protect my children and their images and I have to protect myself and my mental health above that of keeping a relationship with a step child who has done a 180 because of the company he has chosen. He's borderline an adult and can take care of himself my children are young and therefore only have their parents to protect them

I came here to rant not ask for advice 👍

Where do I say I don't want my children at my wedding I've said I don't know how I can do a wedding when I do not trust my stepson and my children to be around each other because of the potential danger it can put them in if he chooses to continue the behaviour he has done by sending pics and info to people 🤷🏼‍♀️

I sympathise with him for his upbringing as already said but that does not mean I ignore him endangering my children and allow it to happen. You're all telling me if someone took pictures got information about you and your children and told people who have threatened you and your children and who have manipulated their children to want to act dangerously towards you're family that you'll just sit back and allow it because they've probably not had the best upbringing? He wasn't abused or hurt just brought up without discipline or structure and went through his parents splitting up when he was 2 and didn't even understand

I'm the bad guy for keeping my children safe and that is why I said I'd be named evil because everyone on this app seem to assume you're a bitter step parent if you don't say the sun shines out your step child's ass the minute you say anything slightly negative about a step child's behaviour or say you've had to place boundaries you're the evil step parent. Nobody cares I was the one bringing him up for years, paying for his stuff for years, doing his homework, home tutoring him during covid etc I'm just the evil step mom because I've stopped him endangering my children and myself

Vent Group