After growing up in the united states, and on top of that in an area very focused on superficial and material aspirations, it became the norm in my mind for women to see themselves as objects. To objectify their own bodies as something that is never good enough, and always needs to look more like either the barbie doll or the supermodel on the runway.

I struggled with those body image issues earlier in my life, and I think all the females in my family have dealt with this in even more extreme level than I did, despite all of us being beautiful and physically healthy women.

In my teen years, I was able to develop at least some sense of love for my own body, although for many years I would still look at myself in the mirror and think about which features I would like to change.

Spending time in Ethiopia has been such an eye opener to the fact that this mental state of obsession over "the perfect body", or the number on the scale, is so unnatural and unhealthy... and it is not how most women around the world live!

I see in Ethiopia an emphasis on the heart of a woman, more important than her body. In Amharic the word for "nice" and the word for "beautiful" or "pretty" are the exact same word: Qonjo. To say that a woman is beautiful is also to say that she is kind hearted, and the opposite is also true; if she is kind she is also beautiful.

The words "fat" and "strong" are used interchangeably. If you see a big strong man with large muscles, you tell him he is looking fat, and he is happy about that. It seems like the same idea goes for women, that being fat and being strong are considered analogous. A thin woman is seen as possibly weak, or even childlike. A man told me once about a girl he used to date a few years back, but how they never had any sexual contact because "she was too skinny," and he was afraid to hurt her and go to jail. This idea is almost completely opposite to the west, where it seems that many men desire a girlfriend with as tiny a waist as possible, and women internalize that idea and they themselves desire the tiniest waist possible.

The women portrayed as the main characters in Ethiopian movies are so much different from those in western hollywood movies. Ethiopian movie stars will come in all shapes and sizes, the girl in the romantic comedy is not always going to have the body of a fitness model. The female singers in Ethiopia are the same way, not all of them are thin and not all of them come with a pop-star type of look. There is no pretense and no pressure for a woman to have a certain type of body in order for her to be the picture of beauty and desirability.

In Ethiopia I saw women dress with seemingly no shame as to their weight or their body shape, whether they be very thin, very thick, or just average size with a few curves here and there. It seemed like the clothing was not meant to hide the things that western women would consider "imperfections". Whereas women here in the west will wear a padded bra to make their breasts seem larger, or they will wear undergarments that compress their bellies and thighs to make them seem flatter, it is not so in Ethiopia. Women might go without bras, or they might wear a tight fitting dress that shows some belly rolls... I perceived this as a level of self acceptance that western women have not reached.

I also observed vastly different customs in terms of childbearing and the period after such; whereas western women typically strive to immediately lose their "baby weight" by dieting and exercising the minute the baby is born, women in Ethiopia are encouraged to rest for months after giving birth, literally laying in bed and not doing any work, encouraged to get "fat" in order to be able to produce tons of milk for their child, and the idea of a woman being under pressure to lose those few extra pounds from the pregnancy is a totally foreign concept.

Peter's mother in her years of childbearing was much heavier than she is now that she has stopped having children... this is because her culture supports a woman being fed well and resting plenty while she is breastfeeding... instead of pressuring her to "get skinny again" after giving birth.

When I first arrived in Ethiopia this past year, having been doing farm work in the mountains and under a lot of stress, not able to eat adequately due to time and financial constraints, I was pretty thin. The response from everyone in Ethiopia was to instruct Peter to feed me more, to make sure that I get fat. After a couple of months of eating three huge meals per day, injera and yam, rice and peas, I was able to gain some weight and satisfy Peter's grandmother greatly, her comment being something along the lines of, "she was very thin before, but I can see her face more round now, it is very good." Whereas in the west, telling a woman she looks thin is supposed to be a compliment, in Ethiopia the same comment is a warning that she should eat more.

While there seems to be no societal pressure whatsoever for women to fit a certain mold, there are very few women that I saw in Ethiopia that I would classify as unhealthily large, or morbidly obese in medical terms. While this may be because of the economic factor, I doubt that it is. Seeing women in Addis Ababa, a city that has plenty of affluent residents, I noted no difference between their various body shapes and those of women in the countryside. The women who have the means to eat plenty still do not eat too much to the point of being extremely fat to an unhealthy extent. And the women in the countryside, despite having very little money, still have enough food to be a healthy size. Yes women come in various sizes, some Ethiopian women are very tall and thin, and others are very short and thicker. Yet very few Ethiopian women seem to be purposefully taking their weight to either extreme, on the contrary, it seems that they are simply living life and accepting themselves in whatever size they might be.

Ethiopian women are among the most beautiful women in the world. It is hard to classify women or compare beauty, really, because all life is beautiful in its own way. But it is undoubtedly true that women in Ethiopia are stunning, and they are loved and valued very much by the men in their culture. For most women, their daily life is based on necessity and not superficiality. It is of more concern to be healthy and fertile than it is to have hard abs and thin thighs. And as a result, there seems to be much fewer issues with self confidence and self love, and also fewer issues among womankind in terms of competition and cattiness. Instead of seeing every other woman as a threat of being more attractive than oneself, women in Ethiopia exist in a sisterhood of true friendship and support.

We all should take note of the value of ourselves as women and the beauty that exists simply in our ability to bring life into the world. We all should learn from the example of women in Ethiopia, whose beauty is not dependent on their size or their ability to fit into magazine's perception of sexiness.

His Imperial Majesty Haile Selahsay I speaks in regard to his wife, Empress Menen Asfaw I:

"All of you knew her well but she was more intimately known by I. She was devoutly religious and did not lose her faith even in the time of hardship. During the memorable days of Our companionship We never had differences that needed the intervention of others. As Sarah was to Abraham, so was she obedient to I. Our wishes were mutual until we were separated by the Almighty. Her assistance for the good of the young, the old and the needy requires no testimony for they are greater than thoughts and words.

We have been extremely pleased to live long enough in the perfect union that enabled us to see our offspring, our grandchildren and our great grandchildren. We are thankful to the Almighty for having vouchsafed to us that long uninterrupted union which is not very common in the world today: There could be no more profound prayer for I to utter."

...

"She is a kind woman; in her nature, she is a total stranger to cruelty and offensiveness. We have lived since our marriage through years of good and ill fortune by sharing together our happiness as well as our sorrows."

Mothers of creation, Know Thyself!

See the entire blog post with images at:

https://jahchildren.weebly.com/updates/female-body-image

🇬🇭 Rastafari 🇪🇹