Not sure if empathy is the right word, not quite sure why I’m posting this on this app either - I’m guessing it’s bcos I’ve seen how supportive the members are and it’s really what I need atm.

In 2018 I found out a colleague (one I’ve had a few issues with since they started) lied about being sick for a month and a half. Instead of being hospitalised abroad with a contagious and life threatening disease she was living it up in the country whilst myself and other team members worked ourselves to the ground covering her shifts.

I found out through another colleague whom she told she had lied about being ill. It really got to me, I couldn’t work with her and I needed to know how to get on with things without causing an atmosphere. I told my line manager - who gave me her word she would not take this further (I was naive I know)

The following day I was off and when I come back no one is talking to me, I find out through someone else the manager told the directors, other team members were told, those people got their stories together to make out I was lying due to not getting on with this person in the past.

I had a panic attack on that day I found out at work that everyone knew, i left early went to the doctors - through lengthy investigations recording my breathing, blood tests etc I was diagnosed with diabetes, liver damage, vitamin D deficiency, high bmi, high cholesterol, and ptsd.

I returned to work after a month off sick and within two weeks I left for another job. A job which took back their job offer on my last day at that current work place. I was jobless for a week, got another job and left that due to health reasons. After a month out I got another job which was ok - I left to go on pilgrimage at the request of my parent in laws and my choice as well. Now i am jobless and have been since March.

Today in a light argument my husband said “ you job hop all the time u can’t hold down a job, you had a great job at ***** (the place that I had told manager about colleagues sickness)

I said “if I stayed there your wife would’ve committed suicide”

He joked “I’d be free then” now I know he was joking and what he said there doesn’t get to me. Why gets to me is he’s always bringing up that job.

I suffered there, they spread rumours saying I was racist, I had abortions, I took drugs, I didn’t like black people. (Please note my 1 close friend who is a black male gave me away at my wedding) No one spoke to me, I had no friends there and it got to me. I don’t have any friends anyway (close friend lives other part of world) I lost my one friend at that place, a friend I confided in so much and we genuinely had the best friendship. I lost that becos she thought I betrayed her by telling my manager. I get it but having my husband bang on about it was a good job - I know it was. Gets to me and gets me so down.

I’m an honest person, I’m a Caring person, I go above and beyond for anyone, I never say no. It gets to me what they did, lied about me and lied saying I made everything up, no one told me and I overheard it apparently. Seeing someone go through an injustice gets to me, seeing someone lying gets to me, I just wanted it off my chest and someone to tell me it’s fine I’ll tell u how to get on with this.

I just don’t know, it still hurts months on, it hurts hearing the name of that place, seeing adverts on tv for the company. I hurt knowing I’ve lost my only friendship. But he still brings it up, uses it to make jokes. He just doesn’t understand; he calls me pathetic and I think too highly of work or that I can’t let work go.

I don’t know if I’m over reacting but I’m just upset atm. :(

Vent about your life issues