Hello all,

Elliott, Clea and I have some very sad news we’d like to share with you this morning.

This is one of the hardest posts I’ve ever had to write but nonetheless it’s something we need to tell you all.

On Sunday morning, Elliott and I awoke to discover our beautiful baby boy Fletcher had passed away in his sleep at 5 months to something known as SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).

We want to share our story in case anyone else has gone through or may experience this in their lifetime.

He was put to bed after feeding a lot on the Saturday but other than that there was nothing out of the ordinary.

I woke up the next morning to a still and silent bedroom and things felt different. I got up from bed and walked over to his crib and my heart sunk. The only way I can describe it was that he looked like a doll, and I instantly knew something was very, very wrong. I woke Elliott up and called an ambulance which only took a matter of minutes to come, but it felt like forever.

The paramedics picked him up, ran out the house and put him into the ambulance with the lights and sirens going. We followed in the rapid response car behind and the journey was—and still is—a blur.

We were put in a room and made calls to family and close friends to let them know what was happening, thankfully Clea had been staying at my father-in-laws. A doctor came up to us and said, “I’m sorry, there is nothing more that we can do, he’s gone,” then instantly turned and walked away. In my heart I already knew he had gone, but it broke me to hear it said out loud and confirmed.

We went to see him and looking at his tiny body on that big hospital bed still wired up broke me once again. I desperately tried begging them to try again, to do more, to do anything, but there was simply nothing they could do.

We were then shown to a little room off the children’s ward where Fletcher was brought to us in a Moses basket and dressed in clothes that were not his own.

At this point, due to him dying at home, we were told that the police had to talk to us. I went into meltdown, we had done nothing wrong and we had never had any dealings with the police in our entire lives. I can recall looking down and seeing that the clothes I had thrown on in a panic that morning had a stain on them where he was sick on me the night before, and instantly I thought the police would think I was a bad parent.

The police arrived and we were spoken to whilst I held him in my arms. They were so kind. I knew they had a job to do and they handled it with total professionalism and respect for him and for us. For that I will be eternally grateful.

We had time with him as a family. However as the minutes and hours passed, his little lips began to get a blue tinge. I didn’t like it so I adjusted his blanket so it sat below his little nose, the rest of him looking perfect just like he was asleep.

I could not face telling Clea. She’s so young; how on earth could I tell her when I couldn’t process my own feelings and emotions?

I’ve thrown myself into organising his funeral for next week. Every morning I wake up strangely at exactly the same time I had woken and found him, and for a split second I forget and then it hits me so hard, remembering and reliving everything all over again.

When he came back from the post mortem we saw him in the chapel of rest. He looked perfect. He had a little bit of make up on so the blue tinge that had haunted me was gone, and he was dressed in an outfit I had chosen.

The next few days I just need to keep busy and plan the perfect funeral, the last and only thing I can do for him. I’ve chosen him the handsomest outfit, I’m writing about him, I’ve chosen the music, I will give him my favourite teddy and some photos so he knows that mommy, daddy and his big sister are always with him, we will give him the perfect day.

We’ve still been active on social media and posting pictures of Clea because we’re trying too keep life as normal as possible for her. She’s keeping us going and we intend to live life as though Fletcher is by our sides ❤️

I’ll never get over losing Fletcher. I’ll just slowly have to learn to live with it. Although we are happy with advice and well wishes, we ask for privacy at this time.

Fletcher, we love you and miss you more than words ❤️ sleep tight my angel 👼🏼❤️

The Stanburys ❤️

SIDS Support Group