I'm starting to hate hearing things like: "God has plans for you, don't give up", "have faith in God" etc etc. 

Sigh. I am angry, bitter and upset at having this faith in him. 5 years of TTC, $51k spent, 4 miscarriages now and yet everyone is still saying have faith in him?! Why? He obviously isn't paying attention. Yes I'm bitter. Yes I'm wondering why we have to continue to have blind faith when this continues to happen over and over. Sigh trust me, i don't want to lose faith in him but gosh it's getting so hard not to after all this time. I'm close to just giving up and tossing in the towel. To be honest, I said I would after this last cycle. It's just too emotionally draining. It's starting to be too physically draining as well. And of course its always financially draining. Besides, this year after taxes, We already spent the money paying off debt instead of saving for another round because we had thought this would be our final round AND the pregnancy seem to be going well. Sigh everything has come crashing down and yet, ppl are still saying have faith? That they'll pray for us. I'm sorry God, I don't know if I believe in that anymore. 😭