Ectopic Pregnancy - No Feelings?

Question

Just wondering if I'm the only one who feels like this. Long story short last Tuesday I had emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy and removal of my leftfallopian tube. I had gone to Urgent Care Friday morning because of cramps, bleeding, and chills, and they told me I was pregnant (that was a huge shock, the timing did not add up, Glow lied, lol!), and I was either having a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. They couldn't determine via ultrasound so they monitored my HCG and red blood cell count over the weekend and ultimately like I said I had laparoscopic surgery Tuesday.

I don't know how I am supposed to feel, but part of me feels bad for basically not feeling bad... I am sad of course that I lost a pregnancy, but at the same time I feel like I didn't have any time to be happy about it, it was always either a miscarriage or ectopic.

Am I a bad person for not feeling more sorrow? Is it normal that I am thinking of this purely logical, it was never a normal pregnancy, it basically ended before it began because it would have never survived. I am mostly worried, scared shitless actually, about a future pregnancy, that I will be constantly worried that something will happen or that I'll have another ectopic. I know the odds are ridiculously low, but I don't know. Anybody have any insight for me? Thanks so much, I appreciate any help, even if it is to tell me that I should feel worse.

Answer

My friend went through a similar situation. She had multiple miscarriages before she had an etopic pregnancy. She had to get her fallopian tube removed also. Add far as future pregnancies, she had two healthy babies since then. But she was considered high risk due to the miscarriages and etopic. So she had to have ultrasounds every week to two weeks until she cleared the first trimester, but then after that she would have regular appointments. So there is hope for the future. Just gotta keep your chin up and take it easy.

As far as not feeling bad,  I don't think your a horrible person. You didn't even know you were pregnant.  So there was no time to get attached. Don't beat yourself up.  *hugs*

Answer

My very first pregnancy was ectopic and I didn't feel anything really either, I still don't, it was very early and nothing that could be done except try and save my tube before it burst. They're your feelings I moved on and I have 3 children 9, 6, 18 months and 5 weeks pregnant . Hope this helps!

Answer

I don't think you should feel guilty for something out of your control. Yes, some women would, but I think it's circumstantial for many of us. You've done nothing wrong, so try not to stress.

Answer

Your feelings are totally reasonable!!! Don't feel bad. Xxx

Answer

Thank you all, I really appreciate all of the positive messages and it makes me very happy to hear of success stories post ectopic! <3

Ectopic Pregnancy - No Feelings?

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