Sad birthday

I lost my baby, I knew on Easter , I can feel that it was gone. I went on Monday to a scheduled doctor appointment they said something was wrong because I had no physical growth. Went to another hospital and had a sonogram and they couldn't find any fetus. I'm in so much pain. This would be miscarriage number 4 for me. I'm not sure if I can handle this . Mentally, I fee like I'm losing my mind.