I am 24 years old .. I have been with guys my whole life until my boyfriend of 2 years , we broke up.. Which made me go the opposite direction and be with girls.. I have been with my current girlfriend for 3.5 years .. And she has hurt me really bad in the beginning of our relationship pretty much up to the last 6 months, where she has been good. She has borderline personality, and is a bit phycotic .. For a very long time I have hated sex with her, only because she used to want it everyday.. And when I say no she used to get angry and swear at me and carry on, then walk away. I have become very depressed .. I hate the sex .. I find it repulsing .. I have been wanting to be with a guys for ages but I find it very hard to leave her, as she always cuts her self up or said she will kill her self or she threatens me and won't stop calling and texting me and off people's phones. I use every excuse not to sleep with her and the other night we did, as she wouldn't stop going on about it, I was so bored , I don't ever go down on her, i feel like it's a chore .. To sleep with her. I'm not in rested what so ever!

I think everything she has done in the past has kinda fucked my mental thinking ? I never have a sex drive, I hate when she kisses me .. She is all mad today cause she said " we need to have long lasting sex" and she's being super clingy since sex wasn't as good the other night .. We are meant to be going to Bali in 2 weeks .. I really don't want to be with her, but I have been with her for so long .. And i think I'm scared to be alone. She is going to act crazy, I have tried breaking up with her so many times , to just break up and get back togatber over and over again !

Please help me ? What should I do ? I'm miserable! Yes she does live with me at my cousins house. I am moving into my own house in a month or so.. And I'm dreading her coming.

She's always so moody.. And always gets jealous over things . Last night I shaved my legs and vagina and she wasn't Happy about it .. Asking me why I did it, where am I going .. When really I'm that depressed I work.. Sleep.. Eat.

Sex okay?