Thanks in advance to anyone taking the time to read this.

This morning was rough. My LO was a bit gassy and woke up crying (he usually wakes up pretty content). I fed him on one side but he was still fussing. I needed to get his Zantac but couldn't calm him down enough to lay him down. I said quietly, "Henry I don't know what to do, you need your medicine." My husband heard me and said "just give me a second to wake up." Not in a nice way - he was clearly pissed even though I wasn't asking him for anything and certainly not waking him up. I don't wake him up at ALL during the night to help with anything. Ever. Even on weekends because he will say "well i am in the middle of something." How does he think I feel 24/7???

Anyways...He then goes on to say that this was a "brutal" way to wake up and that because i said something out loud I was clearly trying to wake him up and ask for help in a passive aggressive way.

Then, he gets pissed because we have a Bose that is plugged into an outlet activated by a light switch. He turned the switch off, the Bose made a noise to indicate it was off, he got pissed about that and punched the light switch and broke it. He spent 30 minutes trying to fix it, all the while bitching about how he didn't have the right tools and he lost the screws and this place is so cheaply made and on and on... He's throwing things around and making a lot of noise, swearing, and generally really over exaggerating. I keep telling him to leave it for later but he won't let it go.

I start crying because my baby is asleep on me and all I can think of is that I hope he doesn't get my husband's horrible temper and I hope my husband never takes it out on us (he never has but he does do stupid things like break light switches or tea kettles because they don't function like he thinks they should, says he wants to destroy something, throws things around which also means they break, too).

Of course then he tells me to stop crying and the only thing he can make me do is cry. He finally calms down a bit and leaves for work, after trying to say a nice goodbye - even though he minimizes my worry for him and says he's fine when he obviously isn't.

I'm sorry, I just needed to vent. He's usually a great guy but when he gets pissed it's like the world is ending and it's over such trivial things. He criticizes his mother for the same and yet he doesn't see it in himself. Sometimes I just really feel as if I have no support and I'm doing this all on my own.

Going on to 34 weeks 😄

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