4th loss & im ANGRY

I've tried so hard to just be optimistic & happy.. Trusting that everything's working together for my good.. & that the unexplained miscarriages are just my bodies way of saying the baby wasn't perfect.. But it's soooo FRUSTRATING.. Most people don't understand because they've never been there. 
My husband deals with his emotions totally different from me (he's a doctor so from the medical side he's like "it sucks but it happens") so I feel like when I want to vent and be sad, he's going to tell me it will be ok which I pray and hope it will be one day.. But today- I'm Angry! & I have every right to be. 
I just want us to be able to have a happy and healthy pregnancy, I just want us to be able to have ONE baby together!! It seems so easy for others, it makes me green with envy & anger.. This is so out of character for me. 
& through it all I have to smile & go on like everything's okay.... But it's not. 
Angry. Annoyed. Anxious. Alone.