I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I had the perfect labor and birth with my first daughter. Was due the 8th of July went into labor on July 5th and had her July 6th. No complications and I went into labor all on my own. I'll be 41 weeks tomorrow with my second daughter. I feel like my body doesn't know what to do. I'm tired of getting the text messages asking if I'm having the baby. It just reminds me of how much I feel like I've failed. The longer I go the more weight I gain and I look absolutely disgusting! My husband thinks it's funny to call me pudgy, but it hurts me. I hate my fucking body right now! I'm scheduled to be induced this Friday night and my worst fear is having a c section because I have keloid scarring. It's horrible! If the induction goes wrong and I have to get a c section I swear I'm going to get postpartum depression. I've always been skinny and I only have one keloid scar on my arm from a surgery and it still looks fresh but it's 6 years old! I'm about to cry just thinking about it. I'm horribly uncomfortable and I can't sleep good anymore. If I have a c section I'm going to cry the entire time. I don't need anyone to tell me how they had it just fine. Keloid scarring is ugly and permanent! It doesn't go away! I just want everything to go smooth or even better just go into labor on my own before this stupid induction. I'm seriously having a meltdown right now.