How did having a child change your life?

Question

My boyfriend is insisting nothing makes me happy , I've been so depressed for the last 3 years over a divorce etc , me and my bf have. Been together for almost 2, my ex didn't want to have kids with me and of course I'm having trouble ttc and I know this is making me more grumpy and miserable like I can't do anything right, he said I would just be grumpy with a child, I feel I would be on top of the world? How did any of you feel or would you think you would feel ?

Answer

It can can make you that way, but if you are depressed now, it could be worse with a child. I would look into getting help before a baby is in the picture.

Answer

You need to be treated for your depression.  Having a baby won't magically make your depression go away and can cause harm to the baby while you're pregnant.

Answer

A baby will not solve your problems or depression. A baby should not be expected to bring you happiness. Happiness is an inside job. What that means is that it comes from within you... not from anything outside of you, not from any person, and not from any certain circumstance. Your boyfriend is absolutely correct. If you don't take care of your mental health now, you will only be depressed with the baby. In fact you may be even more depressed.

Answer

Im sorry about your depression but why be depressed over some divorce if you think youve found the right man that youre with now that other man shouldnt mean shit to you. You should either figure out who you love or get counciling or medication for your depression. Im sorry to hear that just trying to help.

Answer

If you are depressed or sad, you need to get some treatment or help before you get pregnant. Getting only jntroduces a whole new bucket of hormones which can get worse. And ppd is a huge thing to be watchful for afterward. If you have the mindset you cannot do anything right then that to me is a flag right there. No one can do everything wrong and whether you think it or not you are great. Please look into either seeing your doctor or speaking to someone

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It sounds like your still hung up on your ex husband, maybe you need a little time to see if you might need to be alone rather then just have a baby ?

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Children should not be born with a job. They are not responsible for your happiness. If you leave your depression untreated, your boyfriend is completely right.

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I think you need to be treated for your depression and get better before you have a baby.. it can make it a lot worse.

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Don't get me wrong, having a baby is wonderful. But there are sleepless nights, if you breastfeed your baby will cluster feed and you basically just nurse for hours and it's exhausting, getting to know why your baby is fussing can be so frustrating. I think if you went into having a baby feeling depressed, it would make all of those normal stressors and frustrations of being a mom worse. I would probably try to work on yourself and getting to a better place first for the benefit of not only you, but your baby.

Answer

If I were you I'd focus more on your relationship ... I'm concerned about what your BF is saying about how nothing makes you happy. It sounds like he is frustrated and your misery is dragging him down. He might be feeling like he's in a hopeless situation and by saying he doesn't think a baby would make you happy either he might be calling your attention to the fact he wants to stop TTC or wants out all together.

How did having a child change your life?

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