Should I give my son his father's last name?

Question

So my bf and I are expecting a son in Aug. He has 2 children already and the state garnishes his income for them. In the state of Illinois, if a mother is receiving cash assistance from the government the state will seek child support from the non custodial parent. With nearly half his monthly income gone, he has decided not to sign my son's birth certificate and I am beyond upset about this. So I have decided that I will give my son my last name. I feel like, how can you want your son to carry your name if you don't even want it to be known that you are his father legally? I feel like my son is getting the short end of the stick because he wants to dodge a potential child support order, though I'm not planning on seeking child support unless he does not support his son. He doesn't realize that his name doesn't need to be on the birth certificate in order for me to get child support. So, should I give in and give my son his dad's last name or keep it in my family and name him after me?

Accepted Answer

He sounds like a loser that should stop having children if he can't accept the responsibility that comes with it. The fact that his child support is garnished means he failed to willingly pay for the children he helped create. And he must not be too bright if he believes by not putting his name on the birth certificate he is dodging his financial responsibility to his child. How a man takes care of his children defines exactly what type of man he is....keep that in mind.

Answer

Sorry to bust his bubble but even if he doesn't sign the birth certificate a paternity test will still make him responsible to pay child support.

Answer

No that is an honor that he doesn't deserve IMO

Answer

If the parents are unmarried I think the smartest thing to do is give the baby mom's last name. If you stay together and later get married it's easy to change the last name with the consent of both parents. It's much harder to make the change the other way around.

Answer

I wish I would have never given my son his father's name. I was 15, naïve, and stupid. This baby I'm pregnant with now would have my last name if I wasn't marrying the father in a week. I'm currently in the process of trying to have my son's father sign over rights/my husband adopt him/get his last name. Would have been so much easier if he would have never been on the birth certificate/had his last name

Answer

I voted yes but I meant no! As a child I had a different name than my mom who was my primary caregiver. Tbh it really bothered me.

Answer

My bf and I are very happy together. We arent married. I've offered to hyphenate the last name but no way am I not sharing my child's last name from the get go.

Answer

My sister went through something similar. She gave her daughter her father's last name thinking she and the father were getting married (thank goodness that never happened).  Big mistake. Fast forward months later - she wanted her daughter to have her last name. Well, in PA, you can only change a child's name through adoption, consent of both parents, or through some compelling court petition (not easily granted). However, its simple paperwork to change the child's last name if she has the mother's last name and then the mother marries the biological father. Go figure.

If she had to do it again she would choose her own name for the baby!  The last name has nothing to do with paternity or potential for support

Answer

I wouldn't because once he has his name set its almost impossible to change  later if your bf doesn't agree.

Answer

If it were me, I wouldn't

Should I give my son his father's last name?

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