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Tell me what you think!!

My best friend of 7 years turned out to be my bf about 2 years ago. The first to say is that we are both arab and christian (Im saying this so you can understand me better, and I have no intention of discrimination) and we are almost 20 years old. In our society, they consider the girl who lost her virginity before marriage as a "slut and whore...". It's not allowed to couples to sleep in the same bed if they are not married (even thought they are not having sex). So a girl should see and touch the first penis in her life only in the first night of her marriage with her husband, and the man cant touch her or see any part of her body unless they get married (but it's allowed for men to have sex as much as they want to before marriage). So me and my bf are totally in love with each other, and we are planning to get married when I gratuate from university. But the issue is that we both are so open minded and we both don't agree with the society we live in. So since we are in secret relationship (because if we say that we are together my parents will do everything to let him break up with me because they dont like his parents, and on the other hand everyone around us will talk about us and will start to say that Im stupid for choosing him because he is not in college) I bring him to my house whenever Im home alone, and we actually have sex without penetration (im virgin and he is my first) we shower together, cuddle and make a lot of fun stuf. But sometimes I just feel so bad about it, because Im "breaking the rules of society", and Im afraid if we broke up and I got married and my husband found out that I was touched before him, he would tell his family and mine and he would ask for divorce. And everyone will look at me with disgust. I love my bf, I love having sex with him, I just dont know if I should feel bad about it or not.

Tell me what you think please.

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