Ftm don't feel pregnant

Amanda • Loved. Lover. Loving. Davey <3
I'm 18 weeks tomorrow and I don't feel pregnant. I'm getting symptoms but something Is missing. It hasn't fully hit me that I'm expecting. I haven't started to prepare. I'm scared. I don't go to my next check up on may 2. Every day is a constant question if both are there and alive. I just feel empty. I love the support of my SO and I love him soo much. And I don't feel alone. I just feel empty. Just on my mind.