Struggling with infertility. Why don't people get it?

Question

My fiancé and I are struggling with infertility. We are in the process of further testing after not being successful of conceiving after 4 years off of birth control..it is looking like we may have to do insemination or ivf but don't know which yet..hopefully insemination will be our option. Anyway, why don't people understand the struggle with infertility? I mean I guess you can't always understand what you don't know but it makes me so frustrated. So many people (my friends and family mostly) tell us "oh just adopt a baby." Or "oh just do the treatments." Or "oh it's just not your time yet it'll happen." I just want to scream at them so badly to just SHUT UP! I am not coping well with this and I am not as optimistic as I'd like be and I just wish someone understood what I'm going through. I am grieving the children I may never have and it hurts and is so confusing..I don't know what to say to people to get them to understand. 😒😒😒

Answer

This is why we tell no one we are TTCing, by no one I mean no family, no friends.  Only the two of us.  If some is rude enough to ask directly if we want kids (always amazes me those people are still out there, often strangers), we brush it off.  We say "at some point" or "sure one day."  Then we smile innocently at their stupidity, and change the subject.  Works like a charm.  👍

Answer

I don't think anyone can understand how this feels unless you go through it yourself...almost 3 years for me...hurts more and more every month :( sister in law is pregnant and it breaks my heart it's not me x

Answer

I think it's because we live in a world that most things are happening now! And we have lost the thought of things can take time. I also believe that those who aren't trying or didn't have issues with fertility like so many of us feel that it's maybe nothing. That we aren't trying hard enough. I've heard it all too many times: "when are you going to have a baby" "are you pregnant yet?" "Relax, stop trying and it will happen" 
It's like they forget there are so many feelings and emotions that go along with our struggle to concieve.
Keep your head up! I know I am trying hard to stay positive while we are still trying. We haven't gone to a Dr yet simple because I think we are scared. 
Lots and lots of baby dust to you!!

Answer

Yeah, I think it's hard for people who haven't been there to understand. Everyone has their own opinions, but until they have been where you are their opinions don't really matter. Don't let them get to you. Good luck on your ttc journey! I hope you get your bfp soon :)

Answer

I have three children. Never had an issue until now. I think it's given me a greater appreciation for a couples desire to have a child. If my children ever have a fertility problem I hope I'm in a position to help them get through it emotionally and financially.

Struggling with infertility. Why don't people get it?

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