Thoughts--

To find someone you're both into:

- a friend of a friend? Draw up a list of names of people you trust, then eliminate those you know aren't interested, then order them by rank of suitability and ask that way.

- tinder

- ok Cupid

- local bars or clubs

(Looking for a friend and possibly something more is a good tag line)

To settle:

- get to know eachother- not just sexually but generally, like a date- dinner with a group of friends so it's more mobile, perhaps? They ask a friend and you both ask another friend?

- when you feel more comfortable talk a bit about your likes, dislikes, boundaries, etc; this is essential. Make sure you're all on the same page. Safe words are always a good idea even if it feels silly or you think you won't need it. Maybe they aren't ok with kissing. Or they want you to finger them but not him. Maybe he likes anal play, maybe he doesn't. Who knows. Will you be using condoms? If yes, does brand matter? What methods of birth control if not? To lube or not to lube? Sensitivities to flavoured or warming lube? Lights on/off? Music? What kind of music?

- get tested in advance for STIs or STDs. Consider doing a blood test. Make all of your documents known to eachother so there is complete transparency on all parts. Everyone should be able to feel totally comfortable and trust eachother.

The event:

- Maybe start with a good film and a glass of wine, the three of you on the sofa? You can chat with the girl/guy about how they want to initiate things- maybe you both team up to feel up your boyfriend and initiate it that way?

- alternate the focus of attention. This doesn't have to be systematic; it can come naturally. So two team up to spoil one and it circulates, then two get it on and the other mediates/amplifies. These are just some ideas. Of course you can just go with the flow.

- have a plan for them on if they want to sleep over or just go home whenever they feel like it. Offer to pay for an uber.

Threesome