Love & Sex
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21, met boyfriend online
I am so sorry that this is long, but please read it and comment if you've been in a similar situation or have advice. I have been talking to my current boyfriend for four months. Initially I didn't plan to meet him, but we got along well and decided to meet after talking online for a week, texting for a week, and then talking on the phone. (So we met in a public place, with my parents permission after 2-3 weeks of talking.) We honestly went kind of fast from there. I went to visit him at his place about a week or two after that on a Monday and things heated up (kissing a bj). Then on that Friday I came to visit him again and we went all the way. Honestly, that could have been dangerous ladies, I don't recommend it but my heart and desires often cloud my judgment, I can be an impulsive person and it just felt right with him. Nothing abouhow he treated me or our interactions changed after that. He still was very respectful and very interested, and my feelings for him only grew. He told me that day that I was only his and he was only mine and that he cared about me. So since then we've been exclusive. Long story short, my parents found out that I was being intimate with him instead of going where I said I was going with him after maybe almost a month of us having sex. They don't allow me to drive their car to see him anymore and I have to take an uber which costs me about $80/month since I don't have my own car yet. They are also devout Christians, so they don't agree with our having sex in general and told me that our relationship was all about sex and isn't respectable. We have been actually dating for three months now. He is always here for me, we talk everyday, and I have stronger feelings for him than I've ever had for anyone else. I'm not allowed to spend the night with him, and after I became certain that I want to be with him for a long time, my parents already found out we are having sex so I don't know when I will let them meet him. My mom constantly jokes about me being pregnant (she had me at 19, and says sarcastic remarks when I say I'm using protection, and she knows I'm on birth control as well). She also always jokes about marrying us and inviting him to dinner but I feel like it's honestly kind of mean because it's like she's wishing pregnancy on me and highlighting that she doesn't agree with us having sex and doesn't like that she hasn't met him. How should I go about introducing him if I'm afraid that he will end up being questioned and lectured? He's 26, I don't want an argument to happen and my parents keep saying things like "if you lie to us about where you're going or sleep over at his place we will change the locks and you can move in with him." I hate that they both had sex before marriage and the freedom to fall for who they wanted to how they wanted to, but now that they're married and aren't having sex in a "sinful" way then they tell me that because I'm in there house I can't have sex with my boyfriend at his house. Am I crazy for being upset? I know lying is wrong, I apologized and explained that I lied because I didn't want them to try and stop me from visiting my boyfriend but it really hurt my trust level with them and hurt their feelings. I have gotten into trouble about being honest in the past, but this time I lied simply because I wanted to keep seeing the guy I'm falling for. (I lied about going out to parties/drinking in college my freshman year and having meaningless sex as in hookups my sophomore year but this is a year later and it's not a hookup, I finally feel attracted to a man in every way and I feel cared for and wanted and appreciated.)