I lost my baby to murder not miscarriage not still born but by my ex husband who kicked me in the stomach and killed the baby after he had came home to cold dinner, I was already been abused and I would never leave only for the simple fact that I was told by my horrible mother that if a man hits you it's your fault if you run then you are not a woman! I believed that and I wish to god someone would of told be that bit** was crazy!!!! But anyways after kicking me in the stomach he and his friends continued to do the unthinkable and almost killed me all 6 of them got 15 yrs in prison my x husband got out last month on parole and is already back in for harassing me.

I'm having trouble this month with is cause the 8th year sense it happened is coming up and I'm down cause I'm remembering that night I still blame myself all the time ! Would of ? Could of ? Should of ? All those things keep going in my head ! Uh I feel so bad I wish I could travel back in time and just run like hell but unfortunately not possible so I just have to bury myself wit this stuff .... I use to cut myself all the time I finally was able to quit then I went to drugs was able to stop that to now I'm to downing on myself and crying 24/7

Does the hurt and stuff ever stop!? I always think of what she would look like I was 8 months pregnant I only had 2 more weeks to go but I failed to protect my baby girl