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I'm suffering

Ok.. Let me pour my heart out here.. Since I'm not talking to anyone about it. I have distance myself from my parents and rest of family.

I lost my job within a month I found out I was pregnant with my first. I managed to pay off my education loan from my saving and decided to stay home, my pregnant was really rough . It did take a toll on me.. I was hurt .that I couldn't go back to work .

During my delivery time, my mom and my mom inlaw came to be with us.

It didn't go well, I didn't like to share space . I felt really stressed they being around me. My mom has her own self centered issues.. She literally drived me crazy .. My mil was being a mil. So it didn't go well .

I was so much in pain post delivery.

People stressed me so much that my supply stopped all together. I could feed my baby for only 3 months .. I did everything I could to improve my supply.

They all left my space finally. And left a scare in my heart with their action and words.

I'm happy being with my baby.

I haven't mentioned about my husband anywhere so far. Right Bcoz he is in his own world. Busy being himself . He never spoke to me thro any of this. He s a happy man . I don't even know why are we even together or even married anymore.

I don't get help with my baby girl . I have to ask him to help me.. That is the expectation from him.

I have gone silent .. I spend all my time with my baby. She s happy 6 months old girl. I take her out to park, library , shopping .. I send my 24/7 with her.. She is the only one left in my world.

Now it's time I get back to work and start making a living for myself. I'm not confident anymore .. It's been 1.5 years since I worked.

My friends are being mean. I don't talk to anyone anymore.

I did ask help to my obgyn , she referred me to counsellor . I didn't fallow up.

I'm extremely sad and depressed.

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