I don't know exactly where to start with this. This is a looong story but I need advice from someone who isn't living with a situation like this.

My mother is a meth addict. So is my grandmother, my aunt was, and recently my sister as well. I grew up around this. I watched my parents make meth, use and deal drugs from a young age.

As for me? Ive never touched any drug besides pot (when I was a teenager). I actually married a cop. I am now 4 months pregnant with our first child.

My mother has been in and out of my life since I was little. She would leave often because the drugs, or alcohol, or pills took over and my parents would beat each other, split up, and get back together. My sister moved with my grandparents but I stayed.

When I was 16 I moved with my dad after my mom left for the final time. She was cheating on him and moved in with the new guy. My dad passed away a few months later. I knew I didn't want move back with my mom. I bounced from house to house living with my ex at 16, to friends who had parents that understood, until eventually I moved to her house. I realized she had dropped the meth but now was taking prescription pills and not leaving the couch.

I started homeschooling myself online because it was easier than bouncing from school to school. I didn't know where I would end up next and only wanted to get a highschool diploma. That was my goal and I focused on it. She ended up kicking me out and i got a place of my own out of town about 20 mins. I got a job and kept it. And my mom never visited in those two years. I split up with my ex and moved out. I moved back to my home town and got a place by myself. My mom and I started talking again.

I then realized she was on meth again. She denied it for a very long time and I was just happy to have my mom in my life. But then she started cheating on her husband with drug dealers. And being around bad people. (One of which stalked me but she doesn't believe me)

At this point I had too much and I told her to clean up and that she's going to lose me if she doesn't stop. She was almost killed but even that didn't wake her up.

I gave her one final chance to be in my life and clean up. I was getting married and I didn't want my mom to miss it. She showed up late, strung out, and ruining my big day. After that I just stopped calling her as much. I stopped trying to fight for a spot in her life and tried to use tough love in hopes that she would clean up.

It got 10000 times worse. My sister started using with her and moved in with her. They both started beating on each other and restraining orders were filed. my sisters dope head boyfriend and my moms house was busted. This was the most spun out I've ever seen my mom.

That was the final straw. I told her I will no longer be in her life, I won't fight for her attention, I won't expect her to grow up and be a mother, and I'm done putting up with this just to say "I have a mother". I gave her the choice to get sober or don't contact me.

Well now I'm pregnant. She's made no effort to clean up. She's gotten worse and she's missing everything. She's gonna miss the baby shower, the sonogram pictures, the birth, the first birthday. She plays the victim card and says she misses me and that she hopes I'll talk to her. But she's still hanging around dope dealers. she hasn't changed.

I'm breaking the cycle. I already see my sisters daughter being raised like I was with a mom and grandma on drugs and I can't do anything about it. She's nine now.

I didn't let my mom find out I was pregnant until recently. I'm 21 married to a great man and living a normal stable life finally.

I don't want her or my sister involved in my child's life at all. I don't want my baby knowing what it feels like to be in a dysfunctional family. Or to be forced to grow up too fast and be stripped of a childhood like I was.

But i feel so guilty. I understand she has an addiction. But she doesn't want help. She's going to die living this life and I can't stop it. I feel bad for my baby being born into such a small family. Only one grandma and one aunt. (My husbands father is deceased as well)

I don't know what to do. A part of me has hope she will clean up but I know she's too far gone. I don't know how I'm going to explain to my child one day why it doesn't know its other grandma or aunt.

But its for the best isn't it?

How young is too young to get married?