I don't want to live w/ my boyfriend and his bff
i don't want to sacrifice my happiness. or give up the one of the only things id have control in. i see how things are now and i feel like it'll still be that way once things actually happen. ill be uncomfortable and not able to do the things i want in a place im supposed to be able to call home... my own home. i can't express how i feel enough without him being upset. and this has been on my mind for days. really since we started looking at places online. i really started to think about what i might be getting into and how uncomfortable it could be for me to even be around the duo. regardless of what the situation might be... separate rooms or whatever i want a place of my very own with the only person i choose to share it with... but i feel like he thinks im in the wrong for that. i want to be happy and be able to act freely and know that i can do such things if i wanted to and have a sense of comfortability and feel like i have a majority of a say in what happens and what doesn't happen around my home. if this happens then i don't know what ill feel anymore. but how do you tell the person you love that you don't want this anymore... you don't want to sacrifice your happiness and your ability to finally control something that's yours and want to feel comfortability. it's harder than it seems especially when you've already burnt your bridges out on talking about how you feel. ive realized nothing about this subject goes without blowing up. but holding it to myself feels bad enough. i won't feel like it's me and him. i feel like its them and i just got added on to the equation like i latched on to their plans. it'll feel unnatural and uncomfortable for something that's supposed to happy and welcoming to my life.
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