My first baby was born February 23rd of this year. Her father and I are not together and I was alone most of my whole pregnancy. He's been a great dad and things with us are still not too well. He started to be really sweet and we were around each other a lot more, he would try and try to kiss me and have sex but I just wasn't ready and I'm positive he only wanted sex. This went on for about a week or two and I finally gave in, no sex during my pregnancy and no sex after.. Well why not with the father of my daughter, I thought. About a minute into it, something in me decided to just stop completely. My last day of my period was April 4th. It's May 6th and no signs of it again. I have taken two home test and both have been negative. I'm terrified. I am almost positive I am pregnant, mother instinct? Terrified because I have already decided to not go through with my pregnancy. I'm 20 years old and I am definitely not ready for a second child. My heart is literally aching and I don't know how I am going to manage this... I wish I had a better excuse rather than I'm not ready.. But I don't.. I should just own up to my decisions. I hate me.