Breast feeding phobia 😳

Michelle β€’ Married to love of my life & mother of 2 precious baby girls πŸ’•πŸ™πŸΌ
Let me preface this with the fact that I don't judge women who breast feed. At all.Β 
I am a sexual abuse survivor (not sure if that is why I have these feelings )... But just the thought of breast feeding a baby just makes me feel so queasy and uncomfortable . I can't even explain it . It's not an "immature /EW" feeling.... It's just a feeling like my mind associates my breasts with sexual stuff and having my baby doing anything to them feels so wrong . Anytime I've watched videos of women breast feeding it just triggers some very disgusted and uncomfortable feelings . Once again, it's not breastfeeding in general that I have a problem with , cause I know it's a natural process and women are made to do that . I just feel like before I have a baby (my SO and I are TTC #1) , I should discuss it with my therapist and see if there is a deeper issue I need to uncover and process/face.Β 
Anyone else relate to this ?Β