s it just me or is it unfair that my SO wants to have kids but has given me a deadline to start trying ? (His 30th birthday Jan 2017)

Question

)He says it's because he doesn't want to be an old dad. But I already have one kid from my ex and that pregnancy was really hard on me...and I'm not sure if I really want to do it again

Answer

I feel like it's a big decision, but one that he should definitely be a part of.
Yes it's your body
But it's his family too.
Take his offer into consideration, It's still a good 9 months away

Answer

Whether or not to have kids or more kids is a huge thing. You really need to talk to him and express your concerns about what may happen. It is fair for you to be concerned about what will happen to your body, but it is also fair for him to want children and want that to happen in a certain time frame.

Answer

This is something y'all should have discussed already. It's completely okay for him to have a deadline just as its okay for you to not want more children yet. Y'all can either agree to compromise or break it off.

Having children is a very hard deal breaker for a lot of people. He should have told you this before it got too serious, but unfortunately that didn't go down.

Also just note that not every pregnancy is the same. Your first was not awesome but the second might! Make sure it's what you want though if you decide to agree to try.

Answer

I can understand where he's coming from. If you guys have a kid when he's 30/31, he'll be almost 50 when they graduate high school. In some countries, that's the death rate. I don't know where you live, but being older and having kids has its own challenges. My husband and I are both older and only just started our family. We both want a lot of kids but our ages are posing a bit of a problem with those goals.
If he's being a jerk in his attitude about that deadline, that's not okay and I think you guys really need to talk about but if it's just to start trying by then, he can help you overcome any reservations you have about being pregnant again. Maybe he can reassure you that he'll be there to help you through each phase or experience. 
I had a lot of anxiety about getting pregnant a second time because the first few months with our first baby being born were very difficult for me but my husband has been so great and supportive when we talk about having more kids. 
Give him the chance to help you feel more confident. If you're feeling negatively pressured, let him know. He may not realize what emotions he's stirring up in you.

Answer

I think he just realizes he isn't getting any younger and clearly wants a family. This is one of those things that if you both dont agree on is really a deal breaker. He's at least giving you the option. Now if he was like we are breaking up I need to go find a woman who wants a family that would be unfair.

Answer

I understand him really wanting a child at 30 but that still doesn't make it right to force you to try by a certain time.

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This is tricky. Yes he shouldn't demand it of you but at the same time have you talked to him and told him that you may not want to have more kids? I think it's something you both need to talk about and I see if you guys can work something out !

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Eh, it's a tricky one. I feel he has a say as well, just like you get to say that you want to wait or don't want to at all. But maybe there is a compromise you could meet somehow? I understand though, my pregnancies have been rough and I've had many losses and my husband told me that he wanted to be pregnant by the time our son is 6. Which we did, and I'm glad I did. But it's up to you guys, just have a nice long talk and see where it takes you.

Answer

I dont think its wrong I put a deadline on myself with having children and honestly I completely understand where he's coming from I think you guys should have discussed this befor you got "serious" but just try and have a serious talk about it and come to a mutual agreement 
Good luck 😊

Answer

Seeing that women them selfs are a living deadline... (After 47 conceiving is nearly impossible)... I don't think we can complain a lot...

s it just me or is it unfair that my SO wants to have kids but has given me a deadline to start trying ? (His 30th birthday Jan 2017)

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