🙏🏽 for a rainbow baby. Excited and Nervous

C
Every time it gets close to my ob appt I get really really nervous. I guess because I've never made it this far in a pregnancy and after 3 miscarriages I dread getting that awful news... Again! Part of me is so anxious to see baby kicking and grooving but another part is terrified to step into the doctors office in fear of reliving another tragic experience. I have no symptoms of anything being wrong but it's still in the back of my head, my emotions are everywhere right now. I know now that I'm in my second trimester, chances of miscarrying has decreased significantly but I've read several stories of it happening! 😢
Anyone else experiencing this after miscarriage or in general? How did you erase those awful thoughts and memories to stay positive? I'm 14 weeks today btw!