Love & Sex
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Stuck in the middle! NEED ADVICE
Bare with me here ladies! I need some serious advice. I'm a twenty year old college student, and well, I've spent the last few years in some serious relationships, I dated a guy for 3 years straight and long story short he ended up becoming emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive, I finally got the courage to end it with him. About a year later I got into another relationship, this guy was great, he treated me like a princess, but while he treated me like i deserved he did a lot of things that caused me to believe he just wasn't the one. We dated for a year and then we broke up. So here I am, almost a year later: in December I had decided and confessed to my roommates that instead of getting tied down and comitting to someone immediately I was going to just date around, I'm afraid that I'll get into another long relationship and then it'll end and there I'll be 23 or so years old and single again! So here I am dating around: in January I met a man named Nick, he's 21, he's great! He got out of a 3 year relationship (his ex cheated on him) and he's truthfully struggling with the idea of committing to someone again just to lose her. So we started being friends and we would go to the gym together, grab lunch together, and hangout with each other's friends! We even started having sleepovers...no sexual activity! We didn't even kiss! It just felt nice to fall asleep next to someone and wake up with him there. Well we had made it clear that we could see other people,(if we had sexual relations with the other person we had to be honest about it - so far neither of us have) so I knew he was seeing other girls (going to lunch, studying in the library, etc.) but at the end of the day we would always end up together. In February he told me he was just going to focus on us, so we continued doing what we were doing and it was great. I honestly believe I love this man, I know everything there is about him, I know his temperament, his attitude, his likes/dislikes, his fears, his secrets, everything. And he knows me just the same. Well, in March I found out he had been talking to another girl (how I found out is a whole other story) I confronted him about it, I wasn't made he was seeing another girl, I was mad that he went behind my back and wasn't honest after telling me that he wanted to close off our relationship and just focus on us. So we got into a huge fight and I got all my shit from his place, that day was horrible for me I cried all day, I didn't talk to anyone. My roommates came home and they told me they saw nick on campus and that he looked like shit and that he looked super depressed. That night he started texting my one roommate Z asking her how I was doing, and what not. Well he ended up coming over and talking things out with me, telling me how afraid he was to let someone in, and how he was sorry that he took me for granted and he just wanted us to go back to the way things were. So we fixed things. But gradually our relationship became open again, and I was fine with it. So in April my roommates encouraged me to go out on date with this guy I had met, his name is Daniel..he's 22, such a sweetheart, we have so much in common and we have a great time together. Well Daniel and I really hit it off, I have to admit there are some things about Daniel that make me think / worry about a future with him. 1. He drinks a lot, not like liquor but he'll come home from work and have 4-5 beers, and that kinda worries me because I grew up with an alcoholic.
2. Daniel and I both grew up in completely different life styles, I grew up in the system, my family was very poor, and I have worked my ass off for everything I have and every opportunity I've been given. Daniel on the other hand well he comes from money, he is very hard working (works two jobs) but some things he does or says makes me believe he thinks he can get away with anything because he comes from money.
College is now over and I'm away from both of them, obviously still talking to them both. In my head I made it clear that the one who truly wanted to be with me would make it obvious while I was away, and well...nicks making it obvious, twice now he's made the effort to drive to my house and spend a couple days (1.5 hour drive) and he's coming again this weekend. Daniel has made no effort, he keeps putting it on me, as if I need to be the one to figure it out. I care about both guys so much, they are both great in their own way. I've spent a lot more time with Nick because he came along first, I've had more time to get to know him. I'm just afraid that the times going to come where he's ready to settle down and it won't be me. But at the same time he's showing me signs of wanting to be with me. But Daniel when we are together he makes it clear that he wants nothing but me, and now that we are apart he says that his feelings aren't going anywhere and that whether he sees me a lot this summer we'll be together in August again. I just don't know what todo, I need some words of wisdom Or guidance. Please!!! I thought dating around would keep me heart from breaking, I thought I would be able to get to know some men before I decided to truly commit, but I was wrong..because now I've got two decently great guys and the thought of hurting one of them in the long run breaks my heart everyday!