Honest fears

I'm posting this anonymously because I know it's going to sound horrible. I'm a first time mom and my son is coming via scheduled c section in two weeks. I've been dreaming about being a mom forever now. My husband and I planned this and tried for over a year with one miscarriage before getting pregnant with my son. I've had some complications in my third trimester and have been so scared for his safety- I really do love him with all my heart....but j can't imagine being a mom. I keep thinking- who is this person kicking me all the time- I can't picture him as a baby- a real child.  I'm excited to meet him but I'm also so unsure- what if I end up not liking being a mom?? Is that awful to say?? I'm having so many weird feelings. I'm scared of the c section, I'm scared of seeing him and not feeling an immediate connection etc....anyone else? Can someone tell me this is normal?

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