Feeling betrayed...

When I was pregnant I knew that I would have to work very hard to breastfeed because it would be just my luck I didn't get a good milk supply or my Princess wouldn't latch. So when she was born I worked day in & day out to make my milk come in. And I didn't stop. I remember when I pumped my first 2oz. It was glorious and I was filling container after container and even though one nipple was flatter than the other she was latching good and we were getting there. I went back to work when she was almost 3 months and it was a struggle to work up a supply for me to leave her. Now she is 4months next week and I am not pumping enough at all. I changed my schedule to work from home and continue breastfeeding so that we didn't have to introduce formula because our goal was to make it 6 months with no formula. It is getting less and less likely that will happen because I am not producing to sustain her while she cannot be with me at home. My husband takes his father dialysis 2xs a week and cannot leave the baby with me since I'm working so he has to take her with. I wanted to stop breastfeeding when I was ready. When I decided it was enough and I don't see that happening. I feel so betrayed by my own body. I am typing this in a puddle of my tears because is feel I have failed her.

I know formula feeding isn't the end of The world. And I'm not concerned about expenses I have been collecting WIC checks since she was born and have enough cans to get us by for awhile. I do not need anyone criticism, I just need comfort because I cannot help the way I am feeling....

Thnx....