Do you think an abuser can change?

Question

I broke up with my ex a couple weeks ago because of a whole bunch of reasons. He manhandled me a couple times, which he never hit me but he would take me out of the car and when I would fight him to stay in, I ended up with bruises. Which, he always got me out just so he could hug me. It wasn't anything serious honestly. He's really annoying when I'm upset. He would lie to me about the stupidest things. "If it's not over by 2, I'll leave early to come get you." *3pm comes around* "There's one last game." And then he comes to me at 4:30. Nothing big, but enough to really upset me. 
We were both super controlling of each other so I'm not completely innocent, which is what we're working on now. My grandparents have it in their head that he would hit me and leave tons of bruises on me and that he was like emotionally abusive. Which he wasn't. He just was kind of funky? Do you think that an abuser can change? Whether s/he's hardcore abusive or softcore abusive. 
I would love to hear your experiences.

Answer

Nope. Leave and never look back

Answer

If an abuser can change, I assume it takes longer than a couple weeks.

Answer

Yes. My fiance and I had a very rough patch in our relationship. He was cheating on me and I'd hit him and scream at him and insult him. Eventually he hit me back and we spent a long time where every night we'd get in violent fights. I left him for 6 months and when we got back together we both knew we had to change. Our relationship is completely different, you'd never guess how things were before. Now when we do argue it's usually calmer, we get things worked out and aren't insulting each other or hitting each other. I have slipped up a few times and slapped him, but he doesn't do anything back. It takes a lot of effort to change, but if you really want it you can do it.

Answer

My ex was abusive and controlling. The abuse started verbally. Then it became physical. I told him it was over. He showed up at my work with a dozen roses to "apologize." Well his apology was "If you didn't make me so mad, I wouldn't have done it." He promised it would never happen again though. 
I was stupid and took him back. The next time he laid his hands on me, I called the police. It was the best/most difficult decision of my life. All I could think about that night was that he was going to kill me one day if I didn't do something. 
My personal advice? Run far away. Being in a relationship with an abusive person is slow torture. It messes with your head and heart. Don't let anyone tear you down. Don't let anyone hurt you. Remember that you deserve someone who loves and respects you.

Answer

Possibly, but it takes time and most likely professional counseling.

Answer

Before I got married I was with two abusive guys, one physically and one verbally. I gave both of them nearly two years, kept coming back over and over because they gave me some "I'm so sorry" sob story..... They don't change. Leave before you get sucked in any further.

Answer

In my experience, no. I don't think they can. The first time my ex hit me, he broke down and cried and apologised and made it seem like it was a mistake and that would be the last time. So I forgave him. If he was going to change, he wouldn't end up beating me all the other subsequent times. I feel like if it was a one time occurrence in your relationship and it never ever happened again, then maybe they can change. But if it was something consistent in your relationship, then I would say no

Do you think an abuser can change?

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