My journey as a student and pregnancy

On May 2, 2016 1:25 AM, "Khan, Ghazal" <ghazal.khan.735@my.csun.edu> wrote:

It is hard to be a mother, especially when you feel you are not doing enough for your child. My journey started in August 2015 when unexpectedly I found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks. Yes, it came as a surprise because it was a change that I was not ready for yet as I was still in process of completing my studies at CSUN. It was my second to last semester , I had just gotten a part time job at school and classes had just started. This semester was suppose to be a go getter for me however, the first trimester hit me hard feeling fatigue and down all the time. I had my future plans going however, God had other plans. With first trimestee down, I started to welcome this phase of life into my open arms. By the time December came around, I was completely excited as I was about to hit 5 months soon. However, between all these came the period where I struggled to get medical insurance for myself which took so much of my time making phone calls and waiting for a response. It literally took 3 months to get Medical. I was stressed out by the time things came through, it was hard to believe yet it came through. Then the journey started to look for a hospital where Medical pregnancy related would be accepted. After making calls to Kaiser, Olive view medical center was the best shot to get health care related to my pregnancy. With this on one hand, I struggled to keep up my grades and make it through the fall semester with passing grades. Yes, i was proud of myself that I accomplished so much with my pregnancy. Yes it was hard but I pushed myself through it all. Last week of December was the exicting moment when I found out that I was having a baby boy !!

Then came the time when my care got switched over to OVMC where all the tests that were done at the clinic had to be re done. It hit me hard when the test results came up with my gestational diabetes being positive, again I was in denial. I hate the fact that it waa even true, I kept saying to the doctor that my test results from the

Clinic didn't state that, I did not have gestational diabetes. However, truth remained at bay. I now needed to test my sugar and watch out what I was eating. I ended up cutting down on my carbs and made my diet less sugary. With this news in, my Spring semester had begun, this meant internship on the go and a class on campus. I believe I became hard on myself thinking I could do it all. There were mistakes I made by not giving myself the proper rest, not a good pregnancy meals, and being under stress all the time. I was driving back and forth, doing my intership, and still doing things around the house. From mid january to march, my diet was not how it was suppose to be. I would question my OBGYN about my weight, she would not say anything more that it is all fine, she would measure my belly, she would not say anything more than you are measuring at this week. She was concerned about my gestational diabetes and my high number for blood pressure but least concerned about my weight which

Was not growing and remained around 72kgs. There was only ultrasound done in February at OVMC and then one on March 10th due to my blood pressure being high. I was under stressed because my baby shower was that weekend and there was lot to do. Around March, my overall health became down, I felt more weak and tired but I kept pushing myself to try to manage all the things equally which was my biggest mistake. Maybe I was trying to be a superwoman. But I was not wrong because whatver I was doing was because I believed in myself. For some reason, my hardships kept growing, soon I would found out that circumcision does not occur at OVMC and had to find one outside. Almost coming to an end with March, I was almost done with everything. March 28th, I sensed my body telling me that it was enough now. Late night on March 29th, I started feeling light contractions but was not sure if they were real or not. I was unease that whole night. March 30th, I could not find the strength to go to class

That same morning, I got a call from my preceptor for my internship not to come in anymore as I was pregnant and only interned under the title volunteer which meant I was not covered under liability by kaiser if something was to happen to me. I took that call as a final signal from God that this was it. Just a day before, someone had told me that I can deliver at any hospital near by if I am in labor. Luckily, that early afternoon I called Valley Pres Hosp to find out if they do circumcision which they did only if I delivered at that hospital, then the cost would be less otherwise it would be $2000 outpatient cost. I also stated that I was having slight contractions to which I was told to come in and pre admitting registration. Around 4 o clock, my sister and my mom drove me to VPH to pre register. But before that could happen, a nurse directed us into ER as I told her that I was having contractions. In couple minutes, I was admitted into VPH. I was being monitored and had a vaginal

Checkup to see if there was a opening of the cervix, unfortunately there wasn't I was told by the attending nurse that the baby's heartbeat was keep going down too often and that it was not normal. Soon, it was announced that a CSection could take place. After conducting 2 ultrasounds, it was confirmed that a CSection had to take place as it could be dangerous to the baby and the mother. I wanted to wait for my husband who had got off work and was attending a class until 9 but because I did not want him to get tensed, I told my family members to let him come first. I was in tears because 90% I wanted vaginal delivery. I was scared to death. Around 10:15 pm or so I was taken into the operation room and given an anesthesia on my back for numbness. I was shaking so bad that there was nothing that could possibly ease me down. Few mins later, I was laid down and the procedure was about to begin and just at that moment, my husband came. He sat besides me the whole time and prayed. Few mins later, we heard the baby cry and we started to cry. My husband was asked to cut

Umbicial cord The nurse showed the baby from a distance, I did not get a chance to hold the baby as the doctors were still in process of completing the surgery. For few seconds, I felt I was short of breath but little did I know I made it through a surgery. The attending doctor told me if I had not come in that evening, there was a possibility I could have lost my baby because there was no amnotic fluid and that the baby had stopped growing 5 weeks ago. All this came as a big shock to me and tears rolled down my cheeks thinking of the worse that could have happened if God was not there and my instinct.

Because my baby came a month early , March 30th at 10:55pm, he was a preemie who only weighted about 3 lbs and some and was weak- he got admitted into NICU. I was on bed rest for 24 hours

April 2nd was the day when I finally got to see my baby and hold him. It was too emotional for me as I saw myself the reason behind my baby's situation. I was discharged on the 3rd day but in my heart, I wanted to stay longer so I could be close to my baby. It was another challenge that my husband and I went through for 2 weeks. My husband and I visited our baby daily. There was always excitement and sadness, excitement because I would wait for that moment to come to see my baby and sadness because I would have to leave without him. April 15th was the day when my baby was discharged and oh boy, it was the most amazing day.

It is May 1st and my baby is already 1 month. With that said, I am still becoming used to what is called motherhood and embracing it day by day.Making mistakes is part of life , moreover it is part of lessons learned. Not until I do it, I will not learn. Soon I will graduate from CSUN with my baby in my hands