My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now. 2 years ago we were at a low point in our lives- he lost his job and I was gaining weight and worked all the time. I busted him talking to several girls on Facebook and texting them. I also found emails between him And a girl he worked with that were inappropriate. Not sexual but flirting, telling her she's gorgeous and talking about maybe meeting for lunch. When I found them my world was shattered because I had held him in such high respects, I never considered he could do that. We moved forward and a few months later I got a message from HER boyfriend that they were talking again. When I brought it up, he said it was nothing but closure on the friendship and said he didn't mean to hurt me. I moved on again... but 2 years later I haven't forgotten. I'm fucking paranoid! Every time he looks at his phone or email, I freak out on the inside. He deleted his Facebook on his own (never asked) but I have unsupported fears that he still logs in. I talked to him about my insecurities a few months ago and he was very reassuring and loving about it. He told me that he loves only me and he is sorry he hurt me before, so I was totally fine, but then those feelings still arise in me. Its been 2 years since he did that but I can't seem to let go. I've lost the weight. I'm pretty, I'm smart, I'm funny and I am a good fuck. But so are so many other girls and I can't help but feel replaceable.

Help!

Edit: I do go through his phone all crazy sometimes (hate doing that, I feel so guilty) and haven't every found anything weird or alarming whatsoever. But then I also freak out that maybe he just deleted whatever it is I think I'm looking for. It makes me feel crazy.