How Do I Change??

I have a very big problem and need advice asap.. So today I completely blew up and told my so its over. I feel like I can't trust him with anything but really he goes to work and comes home. I just feel like there's something there. My family doesn't care for him but my dad knowing me so well he said I need to get over my pass and anger and do right. I'm way to paranoid. In scared I just made the wrong decision but then again I maybe didn't. I know he loves me I just think deep down he's hiding something. He's told me before he's scared to tell me things because of how I twist shit. I've tried to do better but now with me being pregnant idk what's going on with me. I've tried counseling but it doesn't seem to help and isn't for me. I have a very bad trust issues when it comes to those I care about. What can I do, how do I fix this. I want a family but I'm the one messing it all up. What do I tell him, how do I ask for him back. He's telling me he wants me and our family together but how do I apologize. How do I fix my trust issues. Sorry for rambling on but I'm lost.. 😥