Venting/pls don't judge.

So today I was hanging with my boyfriend, our dealer, and his girlfriend. My boyfriend kept looking at her and I was starting to feel insecure. I felt my eyes watering because he wasn't paying much attention to me and by the time he did I was upset and didn't want to talk. When we got home I ran to the bathroom and self-harmed (I felt fucking horrible about it) and I went to have a cig. He followed me there and kept asking me what's wrong and I couldn't tell him so I started to cry and I just couldn't tell him how I felt because I knew he'd probably lie about looking at her and shit so I didn't even bother to say it. I told him I didn't feel good about myself which is partly true but yeah. Idk I'm sorry I needed to vent.