Today I had a rough day. All week I've been feeling different like not myself. I've been feeling all types of emotions & I don't know why. Sometimes I feel happy, & sometimes I feel sad. I cry for no reason & I wonder if I'm bipolar. Today I felt depressed, overwhelmed, angry, sad, annoyed, & tired. I cry out of the blue a few times. Last year in the summer was when everything happened. I noticed that my moods would change a lot so I saw my doctor. She said that I have anxiety depression & the way it looks for me is that I won't brek out of it. The only way for me to deal with this is medication. I've gone through a few medications & so far they haven't work. I tried this depression medication a few months ago & all I it made me do was have suicidal thoughts & made me even more depressed. I stopped taking it & I continued to take my anxiety/sleep medicine. I have trouble sleeping & before I go to bed my mind is always on the go. It never stops & it's very hrd for me to go to sleep. Dealing with this depression is no joke & I feel so alone. I'm married with 4 kids & sometimes I don't want to take care of my kids. I'm just barely starting to tell my husband what's been bothering me & how I've been feeling. I know he's trying to help me with my depression but I don't feel like he's all the way supportive. Since I've been so overwhelmed, stressed, angery, sad, annoyed, & tired all day today, all I wanted was to relax without no loud noise but my husband wasn't having it. He was listening to music & I just asked him a simple question saying how long will he be listening to music because I'm tired. Well he just blew up & started telling me that I'm annoying him & that all he wants to do is enjoy himself. Well he's been enjoying himself for 3 hours drinking beer & watching a movie. I don't like to be around my husband when he drinks because one, it always causes us to argue, two he never knows when enough is enough & makes him acts stupid, & three it just annoyes me because he's always drinking every weekend & he's doing it more offten. He told me that he'll calm down but he hasn't. I kind of feel like he's not the man I married, I'm seeing a different person in him, I feel alone like I'm not wanted by him or he doesn't care about me. I want to tell him how bad this depression hs taken over me but I just don't have to guts to tell him because I don't want him to think that I'm sick or something. I just thought that I'd share this personal information with you all.