Dear darling,

I’ve prepared this information because I think you need to be aware of the basics as it’s probably a lot different from what we were taught at school (if you have sex you’re going to get someone pregnant). Not true.

There’s actually only a very small window of opportunity to get pregnant and:

• There’s only a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month (so as it’s our second month trying, likelihood is you probably have 12 months to get used to the idea of being a Dad and you may get your Summer baby after all!)
• Even if I do get a positive result on a pregnancy test, there’s a 10% chance of a miscarriage in the first 12 weeks. Scary.

What you need to know

• Timing is everything. Sperm can live up to 6 days, but the egg only lives for 12 hours.
• The egg is released at least 4 days after my period ends (although as my body is still getting used to coming off the pill, my cycles are all over the place, meaning it’s hard to guess when the egg will arrive.)
• A day after the egg has been released, any sex doesn’t count towards baby making (but it’s still amazing)
• This all means that the crucial times to have sex in order to make a baby are the days running up to ovulation.
• As ovulation is hard to guess, I’m going to start using ovulation sticks so don’t be freaked out when you see sticks with lines on them in the bin (they look like mini pregnancy tests)
• I may start taking my temperature in the mornings as well, as this is another way I can track ovulation and my cycles in general to see when they have settled down
• Don’t touch my boobs. At the moment, they are painful to touch (even gently) about 3 weeks out of 4!!!!! I’m hoping this will settle down but when I do get prego they will apparently be 10x worse!

What I think we should do

I don’t want to be demanding you into the bedroom because the time is right, but equally I don’t really want to miss the chances as the 2 week wait after you’ve released the egg to find out if you are pregnant is painful for someone as impatient as me!

I think Becky and Hayley’s stories of trying for a baby and saying it’s no fun just isn’t the way I want to do this. As much as I would like a baby with you, I don’t want to do it at the expense of our relationship. I want the process to be fun and now I’m off the pill I have a much higher sex drive… for one thing we’ve been neglecting our toy collection...

Things you can do to help

• Don’t touch my boobs
• We joke about solidarity but there may be some benefit to it:
  • Try to limit your caffeine intake to one cup of coffee and one tea a day
  • Heavy drinking reduces sperm quality and quantity
  • We both need to start eating healthily and losing weight to get to a healthier weight will improve fertility for both of us
  • Don’t have really hot baths
• Forgive me for being hormonal!
• Be a bit more aware of my timings
• Get me chocolate and wine when my period turns up