Get off my chest

When I was younger, like I can't even remember how old I had a babysitter named Jay. He was our retired babysitters son who had a wife and a daughter much younger than me. Anyways, I was faint recollection of him waking me up way before time for school, before he woke up my siblings(my mom worked first shift at the hospital so we went to the sitters around 4am and slept there until school) and he would make me go downstairs and have his way with me. I was very young and timid and was confused to what was even going on but the memories literally sicken me. I remember multiple times thinking I heard a knock on the door and thinking "Betty's here to take us to school" because I wanted it so badly to stop but didn't have a voice, being that age you think that adults would do no wrong. This is the first I've said anything to anyone. I'm 20 now I just feel like there's nothing that could be done now...