Hope everyone is doing Great

I've been away from the app for a bit , and I just wanted to see how you all were. Sadly for me I'm not doing too great , in the early am on May 15th I went to the Er , bc I was having some weird pains that felt like contractions once there they tried to find my baby girl on the monitor and nothing. I was in so much pain that I didn't even realize what was going on ...later come to find out she had not made it and that I was in fact in labor and I was going to have to deliver her . Hearing those words were the most terrifying thing I could ever hear , I felt so betrayed by my body and quickly thought what did I do so wrong !!! At this point I was by myself my husband had stayed with the kids bc we had no sitter so calling him and telling him he needed to hurry and be with me was just a lot .my beautiful lil Gianna Grace was born sleeping  @3:12 pm on May 15th weighing 2lbs 2oz I was 29 weeks and 3 days , after looking at my placenta they told me I suffered from a complete placenta abruption I couldn't believe this why didn't I know sooner or idk I miss her moving and kicking everyday I feel like I'm in a bad dream and I can't wake up from it . Everyone tells me that God has a plan and I could have gone with her so I need to be greatful bc I do still have 3 other children but I can't help but say that doesn't make her life less meaning bc I have other children she was just as wanted just as loved ...she was perfect I wish I had more time with her ...