I just need to vent. And words of kindness

My boyfriend of 5 years made me get an abortion 3 years ago. Worst mistake and regret of my life. We continued to stay together for 2 more years, then he left and got a girl pregnant within 5 months. She kept it. And now he has the baby all the time. It hurts my heart so terribly I can't breathe. And now I'm having problems concieving. I feel like he ruined me.