Scared

Hi I'm 7weeks pregnant and this is the 1st time I've ever shared anything so personal online. This is my 3rd pregnancy and I'm really scared because my previous pregnancy's have not stuck and this pregnancy has come within 2 months of my last miscarriage. My last miscarriage happened at home on the night of our 1st US after we found out there was no heartbeat. That miscarriage was so painful it landed me in emergency overnight and even now I still get nightmares about it. So with this one I have been more scared and worried about a 3rd loss that I haven't yet had the excited "I'm pregnant" moment. I'm also having trouble bonding with this pregnancy and I feel like I'm in denial half the time. I have my 1st dating US next week to confirm our dates and I'm terrified there won't be a heartbeat. Has anyone else had a lose and felt like this? Is this normal?